Ruby Tuesday
by Ason
Summary: The Enterprise crew rescue a fellow officer and discover that there's more to her than meets the eye. DONE!
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer:  I don't own Star Trek.  I really don't own anything.  Not even my room

*Author's Note:  This is my first attempt at fanfic.  Take that back, I have attempted several times, but never with the goal of finishing.  So be hard on me.  Terribly hard.

"Captain," Lieutenant Uhura's soft, sweet voice interrupted James T. Kirk's wandering thoughts.  He sat in the command chair on the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise, and she called to him from over his right shoulder, from her position at the communications station.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Kirk acknowledged her, spinning in his chair to be able to look at the communications officer directly.  His piercing hazel eyes met her almond brown ones and he smiled.  A smile that disappeared when he noticed the small downward curve of the corners of her mouth.  "What is it?" he asked seriously.

With a slight tilt of her head, Uhura brought a hand to her ear, listening once more to the message, wanting to make sure she got it absolutely right before she relayed it to her captain.  "Sir, transmission coming in from Starfleet Command…Priority One."

Kirk frowned.  "On screen," he commanded, swiveling back around in his chair to face the view screen.  In front of him, Lieutenant Sulu, helmsman, and Ensign Chekov, navigations, looked up from their consoles and to their right, Mr. Spock, Kirk's first officer, turned from the science station, all to view the message.

Uhura's fingers danced gracefully over her console and soon an image of an older man in a gold uniform much like Kirk's appeared on the view screen.  As the rest of the bridge crew stared, Kirk recognized him immediately.

"Admiral Connell!  Good to see you!"

"And you, Captain Kirk," the Admiral replied, his image on the screen suddenly coming to life to match his strong, confident voice, "Circumstances, however, are not so good."

Kirk once more frowned and looked to Spock, just in time to see one elegant eyebrow creep closer to his hairline.  The Vulcan was obviously as clueless as he was, as much as he would have despised admitting it.

The Captain returned his attention to the view screen as Admiral Connell began to elaborate on his initial statement, "You don't know yet, but will be learning shortly about a civil war on Caspia IV, an earth colony.  The U.S.S. Aldrin had been sent to try and settle the dispute escalating quickly to violence."

The Admiral paused and Kirk pondered the news.  "Did they succeed?"

A heavy sigh escaped Connell as he answered, "Unfortunately, no.  We received a transmission from one side stating that the Aldrin had been destroyed by the other side and it crew with it.  All except one.  Lieutenant Montgomery, Alien Relations officer and language specialist is being held captive by them."

Clearing his throat, Admiral Connell concluded, "We're not having you intervene on Caspia IV, Captain, just get Lieutenant Montgomery out of there.  Details are being sent to you."  He grew very stern.  "But I warn you, Kirk, do not interfere."

Kirk glanced around at the smirking faces on his bridge before once more facing the view screen and the serious face of the usually cheery Admiral with a look of shocked innocence.  "Of course, Admiral, in and out."

"I mean it, Kirk."  And with those last threatening words, the image on the view screen was returned to the empty, unchanging, black of space dotted with pinpricks of light.  

After a brief moment of silence, Kirk flipped a switch on the arm of his chair.  "This is the Captain speaking," his well-known voice echoes throughout the entire starship, "There has been a change of plans.  The Enterprise has been sent to Caspia IV on a rescue mission in a hostile area.  Please take the necessary precautions."  Kirk paused with a tired smile.  "And after this, I promise…shore leave."  He looked at the backs of the heads of the two men in front of him.  "Mr. Chekov, plot a course for Caspia IV.  Mr. Sulu, warp factor six.

"Aye, sir," they responded one right after the other.

"Mr. Spock, please join me," Kirk requested of the Vulcan science officer.  Spock followed him off the bridge and into the turbolift.

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What's this about a rescuer mission?"  Chief Medical Officer Dr. McCoy asked the captain.  He sat behind his desk, which was something rare, and Kirk stood in front of it.  "And why the hell to we have to go?  We're scheduled for shore leave!"

"Hostage situation.  I don't know.  And I'm well aware of that.  I'm looking forward to rest as much as you are, Bones."

"I believe the life of this officer is more important to Starfleet than your vacation."  Both looked to Spock, who stood off to the side with his hands casually clasped behind his back.  The doctor scowled, not willing to admit that Spock's undying logic was once again correct.

"I believe you're right," Kirk replied, stopping the argument before is started, "who are we to complain when there is a life in danger/"

"Precisely, Captain," Spock stated curtly.

Kirk rolled his eyes and looked to McCoy, becoming serious.  "We'll arrive at Caspia IV shortly.  Please have sickbay ready, it way be needed."

McCoy lifted his arm in mock salute, "Aye, aye, Captain."

With a chuckle, Kirk left, Spock at his heels.


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer:  I still don't own Star Trek.  No progress on this either.

Captain Kirk walked onto the bridge commanding.  "How long until we get there/" he asked as he made his way to his chair.  Spock joined Uhura at the communications console and they began to quietly confer.

"Twenty-eight minutes, sir," Sulu answered the Captain's question.

"Lt. Uhura," Kirk tuned his gaze toward her, "Have you reviewed the information from Starfleet?" Spock straightened and moved to his station.

"Yes, Captain," Uhura replied, "In fact, I was just telling Mr. Spock.  Caspia IV is an Earth colony.  As the population grew, disagreements separated the people into two groups.  The larger group forced the smaller group out.  The larger group grew and prospered with equipment already supplied and cities already built while the other lived in dire poverty, trying to fend for themselves on the planet.  Starfleet speculates that, despising the larger group, the smaller group sent spies to the cities to steal.  Soon, they too were a major power source.  They began to attack each other, until Starfleet decided to intervene, sending the Aldrin."

"Until Starfleet decided to intervene?"  Kirk repeated.  "You mean they were observing this happening?"

"Yes, sir, Starfleet was able to keep tabs on the progress of these…difficulties."

"How did Starfleet learn of this?"  Kirk was still incredulous about the whole thing.

"The original colonists reported the first attack from the rebels.  They requested assistance."

"Assistance?"  The Captain's voice rose slightly in volume, "They attacked their assistance!'

"No, sir," Uhura spoke up, "their opponents refused to attend the meeting and try to attain peace, attacking the Aldrin and capturing Lieutenant Montgomery."

"I see."

"Captain," Spock turned from his station to face the captain in the center chair.  He was granted Kirk's attention.  "I pulled up Lieutenant Montgomery's service record from the ships computer banks and have been reviewing it."

"And…"

"She has served as an Alien Relations officer in Starfleet for only a short time, though never on a ship.  She was involved in diplomacy for the Federation before that.  She is accredited with the solution of several planetary and interstellar disputes as well as the addition of several civilizations to the Federation."

"Impressive," Kirk commented.  "But I have never heard of an Alien Relations officer before."

"Perhaps that is because she is the only one," Spock offered.

"Makes sense," Kirk agreed, "Might also be why Starfleet wants her back so bad.  She makes a good hostage, huh?'

"Indeed."

The bridge grew silent as a planet loomed ahead on the viewscreen.  Without moving, Sulu announced, "Caspia IV, sir."

"Standard orbit," Kirk ordered.

"We are being hailed," Uhura informed the Captain.

"On screen," he replied.

The image of a slightly older man appeared on the screen.  He wore civilian clothes.  Kirk initiated conversation with his usual address, "I am Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise."

"Leave now, Kirk," the man stated in a low, raspy voice, "We've tried talking to them already.  Now it's time for force."

"We're…" Kirk began, but was abruptly interrupted.

"They'll shoot you down, Kirk!" the man threatened, "Get your ship and crew out of here!"  The screen went blank.

"Uhura," the Captain immediately said, "Get him back.  We need their help."

"Aye, sir."  A couple switch switches and button pushes later, the harried man reappeared.

"I told you…" he began, tugging on his shirt.

"Let me tell you something," Kirk raised his voice just a little.  The man was startled by the Captain's sudden aggression.  "You want force?  We got force.  Just point us in the right direction."  Kirk looked with amusement at the dumbfounded man on the viewscreen.  "We need the coordinates of the enemy base."

Still skeptical, the man complied.  But not without one final warning, "Be careful, Kirk, we don't want any more blood on our hands."  The transmission ended.

"No worries there," Kirk mumbled before standing.  "Spock, Sulu, come with me.  Uhura, have Lt. Brooks, Lt. Jones, and Lt. Weigel report to the transporter."  He glanced around at the startled faces of the bridge crew.  Smiling, he let out an exaggerated sigh and reassured them, "Just like I said, in and out."

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Lt. Uhura scanned the bridge.  The crew had been shuffled in the absence of the landing party.  Scotty had taken the center chair and another engineer had taken his place while Chekov had gone to cover the science station and an ensign in gold had sat at navigations.

She hadn't really believed that the Captain was planning to attack.  Really.  Still, the bluff had come to quickly and easily that it had startled her.  And everyone else on the bridge.  With the exception of Mr. Spock, possibly.

The doors to the turbolift opened and Dr. McCoy appeared.

You just missed him, Doctor," Scotty explained, "The Captain is on his way to the transporter room"

The doctor only nodded in response.  He stood right behind Scotty's right shoulder, leaning on the back of the chair, his usual spot.

This mission made Uhura uneasy.  She obviously wasn't the only one.  McCoy's presence on the bridge was proof for him.  He always seemed to show up right before disaster.  Scotty incessantly tapped the armrest of his chair, and Chekov kept his eyes glued to the scanner.

The waiting was always the hardest part…


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer from before still applies, though we will meet a character of my own invention in this chapter.

*Author's note:  If anything seems wrong, let me know.  Please be patient.  Constructive criticism is always welcome!

Stepping up onto the platform behind the Captain, Sulu took a deep breath.  He always got nervous when accompanying a landing party.  His nerves had good reason to act up.  Things like this were never "in and out," as the Captain had said.

Somehow, though, Sulu thought to himself as he slowly let the air out of his lungs and prepared for transport, just looking at the back of Kirk's head had a claming effect.

A disconnected sensation swept over the helmsman and he soon found himself outside an old, rugged stone building in the cold dark, still staring at the back of the Captain's head.  Shivers raced up his spine as he glanced around him at his surroundings.  He heard the bleep of a communicator and looked to its source.

"Kirk to Enterprise."  Confidence emanated from the Captain's voice, causing Sulu to square his shoulders and become alert.

"Scott here."

"We've made it to the planet's surface safely.  I'll contact you at regular intervals.  Keep the Enterprise out of danger.  Kirk out."  The Captain snapped his communicator shut and took a step out of the formation.

Sulu tried to focus on the task at hand as he followed Mr. Spock and was followed by three red shirts into the building in front of them.  It was time for the fun to begin…

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As he stepped from the dark outside to the slightly lighter inside with Spock at his side and Sulu and the rest of the landing party tight behind them, Kirk marveled at the fact that they'd managed to step into a hall lined with cells.  Prison cells.  Just the place for a prisoner.  However, the cells were empty.  Or so it seemed.

Mr. Spock took the tricorder from his side and began to scan the vicinity.  "Captain," he whispered and motioned to the last cell on the left.  At first glance, it seemed this small stone room enclosed in metal bars was empty like the others.

"I am reading a humanoid life form in this cell, Captain," Spock stated. 

"Sir," Sulu pointed, "there."  Kirk followed Sulu's gaze to the corner.  A black bundle lay almost completely hidden among the shadows.  He was briefly reminded of trying to spot the snaked hidden among sticks and leaves behind glass in a zoon as a boy.  He never liked zoos.  Always preferred animals in the wild…free.

"Is that her?" Sulu's anxious voice brought Kirk back from his thoughts.

"We'll find out," he answered and took a step closer to the bars separating him from the prisoner, almost but not quite touching them.  "Lieutenant," he whispered just loud enough for her to hear.  "Lieutenant Montgomery," just a little louder.  The bundled stirred and slowly grew larger as the captive uncurled herself.  Moonlight fell from a skylight and splashed on the stone floor, illuminating her face as she unsteadily stepped closer to the bars.

Closing her eyes and raising a hand to her temple, she nodded slightly.  She opened her mouth to speak, but winced in pain and waver on her feet.

"Shhh…" Kirk willed her not to speak.  Pain traced every feature of her face as she opened her eyes.  The haunted emerald green intrigued the Captain.  He turned to Spock and they began to speak in hushed voices.

"I do not recommend the use of a phaser," Spock began, "I have been picking up unusually high energy readings, and the sound may alert someone of our presence."

"I hear you," Kirk interrupted, "what do you recommend?"

There was a pause as the Vulcan analyzed the situation and possible solutions.  Kirk became impatient.  "Do you think you could…?"

Spock understood immediately, "I could attempt to…"

"All right."  Kirk stepped away from the bars to stand among Sulu and the red shirts as Spock stepped forward.

His face expressionless, his eyes focused, Spock paused a moment, arms at his sides.  Then, slowly, he brought his hands up to the bars and placed them firmly on the smooth, metal rods.  The people there watched in horror as the Vulcan first officer's body tensed involuntarily and he was thrown back against the opposite cell.  He slumped into a heap on the cold, stone floor, unconscious.


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer still applies.

*Author's note:  When I write, I don't write in chapters.  So if the breaks don't seem right, it's because they were never originally there.  I'm having a hard time deciding where to begin and end the chapters.  Remember, patience is a virtue, and reviews are blessings!

Everyone on the bridge was thrown to the side.

"Damage report!" Scotty shouted.

"Shields holding, sir," Lt. Rohr at the helm replied, "But they can't take much more of whatever that was."

"Mr. Chekov," Scotty asked, "what was that?"  Chekov looked up from the science station, not as happy as he'd hoped after finally having something substantial to scan.

"Ve are being attacked from ze surface, sir," he told Scotty.

Another impact rocked the ship.

"Shields down to 40 percent!"

Scotty leaned forward in the center chair, his elbows on his knees.  "From the surface?" he mumble, then, "Compensate for the shields, lad.  Uhura, get me the Captain."

Uhura reached for the communications console, but drew her hand away quickly as the board sparked and began to smoke.

"Helm, take us out!" Scotty ordered, jumping up and over to communications.  He was on the floor on his back, fixing the console before the Enterprise went in to warp out of orbit of Caspia IV, temporarily stranding the landing part on the planet's surface.

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"Spock!" the words choke out of Kirk's mouth.  He forgot everything except his fallen friend, rushing to his first officer's side.  He checked his pulse and eased him down to lie on the ground.  "He's alive," he sighed, more to comfort himself than anybody.  A small rivulet of green trickled from the Vulcan's pointed ear as he lay motionless next to Kirk, who kneeled beside him

Suddenly, the atmosphere glowed bright red and an alarm rang in everyone's ears.  "Captain!" Lt. Brooks shouted above the loud wailing of the siren, "They're coming!"

Lieutenant Montgomery motioned to Spock and then to the door opposite the one they'd entered through.  "Get him…out of here," she whispered, each word obviously painful, "I'll take care of the guards."  She closed her eyes and took a couple of panting breaths.  "Go back to you ship…take it away.  They'll…destroy…" As her eyes opened, Kirk was once again struck by the pained look in them.  "Don't…worry…about…me."  Once more dropping her lids, she seemed to focus inward.  A trickle of red fell from her lips as she fell against the back wall of her cell, collapsing once more into a bundle of black.

Kirk's eyes lingered a moment on the Lieutenant's still form, but then quickly moved to Spock's.  He looked so vulnerable, quite the opposite of the usual.  Shivers ran down his spine as he could sense the guards coming closer.

"Sulu, help me," he ordered sharply as he grasped Spock's wrists and pulled him to his feet.  Sulu stepped under a limp arm as Kirk put the other around his shoulders.  With Security officers trailing, they slipped though the door Lieutenant Montgomery had indicated and around a corner, ending up in an alcove set off from the main room.  They heard every that went on in the room they'd escaped.

Several men clumped into the long hallway and phasers ready to stun an intruder.

Silence.

"Silly girl!" A voice rang out as a key was heard turning in a lock.  The cell door clanged open and the came voice ordered, "Up!" It was obvious Lieutenant Montgomery didn't move because another order was soon issued, "sand her up."

'Yes, sir."  There was a rustling sound.

"Trying to escape, were you?"  The painful slap of skin against skin could be heard.  "Didn't work, did it?" Another slap and the crack of bone against stone.

Kirk winced, his hands clenched into hard fists.  He was on his feet as soon as the heavy clumping footsteps began again.  "Sulu, contact the Enterprise, get Spock up there," he ordered as he hurried out of the hiding place and back into the long hall line with prison cells.

Kirk really wished Spock were conscious.  One grip by that strong hand and their problems would be over.  But Spock wasn't available and Kirk had to do this the old fashioned way.  Lieutenant Montgomery was being dragged at the end of the line between two guards.  Her limp body hung low and her bare feet scraped against the rough stone floor.  Like a cat, Kirk sprang on the guards, hitting each on the back of the head with a fist.  The girl between them collapsed to the floor as they did.  She lay partially in a square of moonlight that fell on the stone floor.  The thin line of crimson stood out against the paleness of her cheek.  It was blue, bruised where it was been struck.  Kirk kneeled quietly beside her, first making sure the other men walked on.  He brought a finger to her lips and gently wiped away the blood.  At his touch, her eyes opened, and she sat up.


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer still applies.

*Author's note:  You know, it makes me feel really important writing these.  "Author's note."  I like the way that sounds.  That's all, really.  Thanks for reading.

Scotty sank back into the command chair.  He'd succeeded in restoring intraship communications and someone had been called to word on ship to shore.  Uhura stood patiently to the side.  Dr. McCoy had returned to sickbay to help with the casualties of the attack.

"Lt. Rohr, take us back to the planet, Warp Factor 6," he commanded.  Lt. Rohr sat straighter as her fingers moved over the console.

"Aye, sir,"

"Mr. Faber, how is it looking?"

"Better, sir," Faber sat up from looking at the exposed wires under the communications station.

"Keep working, lad, we need to reach the captain," Scotty sighed, "he may be in trouble."

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"The Enterprise is not responding," Sulu informed the captain in a deep whisper as Kirk held out a hand to Lieutenant Montgomery.  She refused it and stood unsteadily on her own, barely hearing him curse under his breath.  Her knees began to collapse beneath her and his arms reached out to catch her.  They touched momentarily as she caught her balance and quickly pulled away, throwing her off again.  She took a step.  And another.  Walking kept her standing.

Kirk followed Lieutenant Montgomery, in a hurry to get back to Spock.  She leaned against the wall of the alcove, watching intently as the captain again checked the Vulcan's pulse.  He leaned in real close and a worried frown wrinkled his face.

"He needs help," Kirk concluded.  He could almost hear McCoy over his shoulder, "No duh, Jim."

Lieutenant…" Kirk looked up at Lieutenant Montgomery.

"Call me Lexxi," she interrupted him.  "It's less of a mouthful."  She eyed him as he eyed her.  " And I don't know how to get out.  I was unconscious when I was brought in."  Kirk watched as a shadow of pain washed across her face.

"Thanks…Lexxi," he attempted a smile.  "Don't worry, we'll get our of here."  Kirk sighed.  "We must move on.  It won't be long until they find their captive missing."

"Not long at all, Captain."  A gruff voice barked as a phaser was pressed into Kirk's back.

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"How's it going, doctor?" Scotty's voice came over the intercom.

"Go back to your station," McCoy told the young ensign form engineering sitting in front of him with a pat on the shoulder before going over to the wall panel.  "Just fine, Scotty," he said, "I've got twenty eight people down here, but nothing more than bumps and scratches.  Have you found them?"  The Doctor's voice was full of worry.

"Not yet.  We just got ship to shore communications running and Uhura is trying to raise the Captain."

"He isn't answering?  Scotty, they may be in trouble!"

Scotty sighed.  He shared McCoy's concern.  However, he tried to be optimistic.  "Don' ya worry, Doctor, we'll get the Captain back.  He just may not be in the position to answer."

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Kirk cringed as his communicator bleeped, indicating an incoming signal, but immediately saw the advantage.  The man with the phaser was momentarily distracted and Kirk rose, pulling out his own phaser, ready to strike.  But as he did so, his eyes landed on Lieutenant Montgomery.  A dark hand covered her mouth and a phaser was jabbed into her side.  The man who'd grabbed her had his eyes on Kirk, ready to pull the trigger.  Lexxi's eyes were convinced that she was going to die.  Not yet, Kirk vowed.

"You don't want her to die, do you?" the gruff bark turned to a mocking whine.  "Then your efforts would be worthless and his death," the man motioned towards Spock with his empty hand, "would be an empty one."  He smiled at the anger rising in the captain.

"He will not die," Kirk argued, pronouncing each word slowly, separated, and trying to keep his eyes from fleeing to his first officer.

"I must say," the man continued, turning to Lexxi and grabbing her sharply pronounced jaw, jerking her head down so he stood a good head above her, "your friend here is quite the little actress.  Had us truly deceived."  Lexxi kept her eyes closed even as he released her, stayed slightly bent with her head bowed as if it took too much effort and cause too much pain to move.  Kirk had no doubt that it did.  He scowled.

"You ruined it, Captain.  You could have escaped had you not gone back for this bitch."  Kirk watched in terror as a phaser was brought down on Lieutenant Montgomery's head.

The blow sent tremors of pain throughout Lexxi's body, destroying the precious balance she'd carefully achieved and bringing her to her knees.  Still, she kept her eyes to the floor.

"Stand her up!" the man ordered, his phaser now aimed at Lexxi.  One of the troop of men behind him stepped forward to hoist her up as another aimed his weapon at Kirk.  "Walk!" came the gruff bark.

Lt. Brooks shot a questioning glance at the captain, who sadly nodded.  The lieutenant nodded at her fellow red shirts and they emerged from the alcove to fall in step behind Lieutenant Montgomery and the guard at her side.

Sulu smiled at Kirk, aware that the captain needed the boost in confidence he usually dispensed to readily.  Kirk smiled back, startled by the helmsman's optimism, but lifted by it.  Kirk went to Spock's side and once more pulled the Vulcan to his feet.  His lift, initiated by Sulu, heightened when he felt his first officer's chest rise and fall more steadily than it had.  But two men shoved him out of the way, grabbed Spock's elbows and proceeded to drag him behind Sulu.  Kirk pushed down the anger rising in his throat and began to follow.

The captain suddenly became aware of that bleep again.  His communicator.  The Enterprise.  As he reached down to it at his belt, he felt a hand snatch it away.

"Can't have them rescuing yow now, can we?" the leader of the pack asked as he casually tossed the instrument over his shoulder.  "Move along."  As Kirk walked, he heard three pairs of boots behind him and once more felt a phaser in his back.


	6. Chapter Six

Lexxi regained her balance after a few steps and pulled out of the guard's grip.  He looked startled, but kept his phaser aimed at her.  They were the head of a long line of captives and guards, herself no the worst off.

The Vulcan's face flashed through her mind.  The captain hadn't seen, but she had.  The look of immense pain and then nothing.  She wasn't healer, but she knew it was a bad thing.  What were those words?

It was becoming exceedingly difficult for Lexxi to concentrate.  Damn them!  They weren't supposed to come.  She was supposed to die.  No one else.  As they made their way through the dark and twisted hall, her thoughts moved to the Captain.

Captain Kirk.  The man was a legend.  Everyone in the galaxy knew him by sight.  But there was something else.  He stood, talked, acted as thought he could live up to the rumors she'd heard.  Such confidence and determination.  And he was the only captain in Starfleet to have a Vulcan first officer, Lexxi knew.  She wondered just what he was thinking at the moment.  What kind of spectacular plan was he hatching to ruin hers?

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There were too many people, Kirk decided.  If it was just him, he knew he could make it.  Or him and Sulu, him and Spock.  Him, Spock, and Sulu even!  The thought of Spock pained him; he could see the Vulcan's limp figure just feet ahead of him.  This wasn't just in and out.  Everything was going wrong.

Just as he was about to mourn the loss of his communicator, Kirk caught himself.  It never did any good to dwell on the past.  Look ahead, he told himself.  The group has finally stopped, and he still had his phaser.

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Scotty looked to Uhura for the eighteenth time.  His heart sank as she sadly shook her head.  He sighed.  "Try Mr. Spock."

Uhura nodded.

Back on the planet, in the hall, across form the last cell on the left, Mr. Spock's communicator began to bleep, right next to his phaser and tricorder.

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Each captured figure was stripped of all devices and shoved roughly into chairs, hands tied behind their backs.  Spock was between Kirk and Lexxi.  The impact brought him to and he slowly opened his eyes, unsure of where he was.  The haze slowly cleared from his vision and he looked around.  To his left sat the girl, eyes closed, her chest heaving up and down with labored breathing.  It was then that he realized his breath was also greatly constricted and his heart was pounding.

In front of them all, the leader of the group of guards dismissed his comrades.  To Spock's right, Kirk sat straight.  Spock was slumped, and it annoyed him greatly, but there was nothing he could do about it.  The loss of feeling in his limbs prevented most movement.  That, too, was an annoyance, but he pushed it out of his mind.

"Spock!"  Kirk's joyful whisper drew the Vulcan's attention from his inventory of the situation.  "Oh thank God!"

"I am sorry, Captain," Spock began, "I must have misread the energy readings.  This…"

"Shut up," Kirk commanded, turning to face forward as the man holding them captive began to speak, "You're alive, that's all the matters.  Save your energy, I have a plan."

Spock, too, faced forward as he became aware of an unstable sensation washing over him.  He fought to stay focused.


	7. Chapter Seven

If she had accepted the food they'd offered her, her stomach would have been rid of it by now.  Lexxi's whole body ached sickeningly, with specific spots pinpointed by daggers of pain.  She was positive her cheekbone was broken and suspected she'd suffered from a concussion in the past week.  She gave up trying to stay afloat in the murky clouds her mind was swimming through.  More like sinking through.  But the sound of a raspy deep whisper beside her alerted her and she opened her eyes.  Spock was alive.

The captain revealed that he had a plan and all grew quiet.  Lexxi did not listen to the argument between Kirk and their captor; she concentrated on the figure beside her.  She could sense his growing alarm and saw his hands, tied behind his back as hers were, begin to shake.  She could not remember the words!  T'Lan had taught her the words, reluctantly, after she'd witness the calming power.  They were very controversial, only practiced by the bravest of Vulcan healers.  Lexxi still could not understand how mere words could have such power over a strong, steadfast Vulcan, but she wracked her brain, flipping desperately through the filing cabinet of her mind to find them.  They might not even work, he was half human, and T'Lan had told her that they didn't even work on all full-blooded Vulcans.  Suddenly, she had them.

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"You've destroyed a Federation starship, threatened another, kidnapped a Starfleet officer, and captured six more the charges are adding up.  My crew has orders to use force if you do not give in peacefully…whether I…whether we are there or not.  I suggest you let us go and surrender," Kirk stated bluntly, with forced calmness.  He was running out of options and once more used the force bluff.  By the panic radiating from the usually stoic Vulcan beside him, he also knew that he was running out of time.

As he carefully studied the reaction of the dark man in front of him, the captain saw, out of the corner of his eye, the girl…Lexxi…lean toward Spock.  He, too, began to panic…he was out of time.

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Repeating the words over and over in her mind so as not to forget them, Lexxi worked her hands from the bonds that held them behind the back of her chair.  This was a skill she'd acquired quite early in her life.  Blood dripped over her fingers from the large, raw gashes in her wrists as a result of her work.  Turning to Spock and slowly leaning toward him, she brought a hand up but hesitated.  Vulcan's detested physical touch.  It brought unwanted telepathic contact.  Thoughts and feelings bombarded mental shields.  But she had to risk it…she had to touch him…had to support him.  He might fall unconscious.  But anything was better than a total burnout.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spock was unaware that his hands were suddenly free, as he still could not feel them.  This was one of the causes for his growing concern.  Another was the unsteady pace of his heart.  Foremost, though, was the captain.  Kirk seemed to be fighting a losing battle with the man in front of him, though Spock could only catch pieces of it through the roaring in his ears.  This frustrated him…the continuing loss of control.  He could not concentrate.  Anger rose within him and he recoiled.  Anger was a human emotion.  This infuriated him even more.  His head began to shake as numbness spread through his shoulders and into his chest.

The icy touch of skin on his arm brought life to it as a pinprick awakens a sleeping limb, even through the sleeve of his uniform.  Concern and fear broke through the murky waters of his mind.  The same frigid touch brushed his hear before a calm, raspy whisper broke the cacophony in his head.  The breath was cool against his fiery cheek.  Those words… The emotions he'd been experiencing drifted away as he focused on the halting, weak string of words spoken in his own language.  With focus can control, and with control came steadiness.  His heart still raced, but the clouds in his mind slowly dispersed and, as the feeling crept back into his limbs, their shaking ceased.

Concentration restored, Spock looked to his left and straight into the piercing green eyes of Lieutenant Montgomery.  Masking his gratitude with puzzlement, he opened his mouth to speak, but felt the ice at his lips as she hesitantly brought a finger to them and shook her head.  Stay here, she said silently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lexxi breathed a sigh of relief and immediately regretted it.  Searing pain ripped through her chest and she added broken ribs to her growing mental list of problems.  Putting it out of her mind, she focused her eyes on Kirk.  She watched his shoulders and upper arms moving back and forth and realized that he, too, was freeing his hands.

Kirk's eyes met Lexxi's and read volumes.  He nodded slightly and continued arguing with the one man left.  "Keep us, but let me order the ship away."  Kirk was close to pleading.

"We can't have your crew telling Command what they found here, Captain, they have to die.  Just like the Armstrong."

Kirk grit his teeth and held the man's attention as each of his security officers slowly brought their hands forward.  "Command knows," he whispered.  

"What?" the man exclaimed, leveling his phaser at Kirk's chest.  "You told them?"  Kirk and Spock both stood as Lexxi crawled back toward her chair, unaware of what was happening.

She heard a strangled "Captain!" from her left as the red shirts she'd just freed rushed forward.  Standing, Lexxi placed a hand on each of the backs of the captain and his first officer and shoved with all the strength she had left.


	8. Chapter Eight

Lieutenant Brooks reached the man and lunged at him, knocking him to the floor.  The phaser fired, missing the captain, who tumbled forward from a force form behind, by a yard and Lieutenant Montgomery by inches.  Kirk bounced up and back to his feet, aware that Spock slowly stood next to him.  Turning, he registered what was about to happen and ducked, pulling Spock down with him.

Lexxi fell weakly back, her reserves spent, trying to catch her breath.  Suddenly, a loud explosion ripped through her eardrums and she was thrown forward into the line of chairs with such a force that two collapsed beneath her.  Fire spread through her as blackness claimed her mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirk stood and looked around, first at the astonished expressions on the landing party's faces and then at what they were staring at.  Seconds later, he snapped to attention and began giving orders.

Lt. Brooks had a phaser aimed at the captor gone captive's head while Lt. Weigel and Lt. Jones held him.  "Tie him down," Kirk commanded, pointing to a chair still standing.  "Spock," the captain paused before placing a wary hand on the Vulcan's shoulder, "you okay?"

"Quite well, captain," Spock replied, returning Kirk's concern with indifference.

"Okay then, call the Enterprise.  Seven to beam up.  Have a medical team ready."

Spock nodded slightly and made his way to the table with their communicators and phasers as Kirk turned to Sulu.

"Help me," he said as he knelt by Lieutenant Montgomery's lifeless body under the smoking pile of unidentified debris.  He checked her pulse on a limp wrist, frowning.  "Just barely," he mumbled as he stood.  Taking a large sheet of metal from on top of her, he tossed it out of the way.  After a few silent minutes of working, he and Sulu had cleared most of the deformed remnants of a large computer system from the area.  Kneeling once more, Kirk contemplated how to lift Lexxi.  Her back was badly burned and, he was no doctor, but from the difficulty she had had breathing, he was sure she had several broken ribs.  Kirk mentally tossed a coin and picked Lexxi up, cradling her like a baby.  He turned to face the dark contemptuous man now tied to a chair.

"I have one question for you," Kirk stated, glaring hard at him.  "Why all of this?"  His eyes darted around at the mess encircling him.  He nodded at Spock before his eyes fell on the limp figure in his arms.  "Why all of this?" he mumbled as the transporter claimed them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My god, Jim!  What the hell happened down there?"  Those were the first words out of Dr. McCoy's mouth.  Kirk gave him a look of impatience and staggered to the medtable.  He paused, uncertain.  McCoy ran his bio scanner over the girl in the captain's arms and sighed.  "If you could, just…"

"I understand," Kirk nodded, "let's go.  Come along, Spock, you're not off the hook yet."

Running softly through the halls, catching the attention of the passersby, trying not to jostle her, Kirk felt Lexxi stir slightly.  She looked up into his eyes, her own shot through with pain and desperation.  Her words, muffled and hoarse, pierced his heart as he stopped dead in his tracks, "Let me die."

Lexxi went into a fit of spasms, trying to catch her breath, She lifted a slender hand to her throat before blacking out, letting it fall to rest on her unmoving chest.  A gasp escaped Kirk's lips as he saw a drop of silver fall from the deep gouges in her wrist.  Silver.  She wasn't human.  He broke into a full sprint, Spock and McCoy on his heels.


	9. Chapter Nine

In sickbay, the doctor took command.  "Spock, you sit down."  He did a double take to make sure he really saw the relief in the Vulcan's eyes.  "Christine, look after him."  He didn't have to look to see the minute joy in hers.  McCoy looked over the girl in Kirk's arms.  He knelt, looking up at her scorched back.  "Good lord," he mumbled before standing.  Lay her down, Jim, on her back."  McCoy looked at a doubtful Kirk.  "She needs to be alive first and foremost."  Kirk nodded and laid the girl gently on the nearest bed.

As McCoy fought to save their rescuee, the captain wandered over to where his First Officer had taken a chair.  He smiled at the slightly embarrassed glint in Spock's eyes at all of the attention he was receiving from Nurse Chapel.  "Well?" he asked, catching her attention.

"Rest," she replied.  "Things are slowing down, but I think he should skip a shift or two."  Chapel smiled as Spock gave her a skeptical scowl.  "Of course, Dr. McCoy…"

"Dammit!" the doctor's voice rang through the room, interrupting Chapel and sending Kirk to his side.  Spock rose and followed, despite protests from his caregiver.

Lieutenant Montgomery shook fiercely, jerking from Nurse Pracht's grip and knocking the hypo from her hand.  "Hold her!" McCoy was shouting.  Kirk grasped the girl's shoulders tightly, keeping her still as the doctor pressed a different hypo to her trembling neck.  "Dammit," he cursed again as he watched the gauges on the screen above her head continue to rise.  "She's not responding."

"Bones, she not human!" Kirk remembered.

"I noticed that, Jim!" McCoy shouted back, pointing to the silver blood pooled around his feet, "That's why I'm so afraid to give her anything more.  She's rejected everything!"

"Rejected?"

"Yes, her body's gone into total shock.  She's fighting us…like she doesn't want help."

Lexxi's words rang in Kirk's ears as this sank in… "Let me die…"

"You have to save her," Kirk stated.

"What do you think I'm trying to do?" McCoy was obviously frustrated.

"Perhaps," Spock's steady voice broke through the rising chaos, "I can help."

The doctor immediately saw where the Vulcan was leading.  "No…I though I told you to sit."

"I assure you, doctor, I am quite…"

"The hell you are!  You look dead on your feet!"

"Doctor!" Kirk's voice rose above McCoy's.  "Her objections may be purely psychological.  Spock may help.  Please, Bones." he was close to pleading.

McCoy scowled but relented.  "This doesn't mean that I agree," he mumbled as Spock moved to the head of the bed.  He grabbed her wrists as the Vulcan bowed his head, eyes closed in preparation.  Just before the strong, steady fingers touched her trembling face, McCoy reminded Kirk, "Hold her," he whispered.  Lieutenant Montgomery jerked violently once as Spock entered her mind before falling still.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Darkness, blackness.  And a wall.  Words floated softly through Spock's consciousness as he set about trying to get through it.

"I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that non may penetrate."

Familiar, yet unfamiliar.  He pushed them away.  He reached out and Lieutenant Montgomery recoiled sharply.  Pushing forward, he probed along the wall, the shield, protecting her from him.  A crack.  Blemish.  Isolation flooded in.  Loneliness swept over him like an icy wave.  Understanding.  Spock self-consciously let down his own shields.  Emotions long suppressed surged forward as he tried to hold them back.  His own isolation and pain lay bare before him in cold blues and fiery reds.  Everything laced with empathy.  Understanding.  The wall before him crumbled slowly to reveal door.  Shut and locked.  More words drifted in, soft and contemptuous.

"I have no need for friendship, friendship causes pain.  It's laughter and it's loving I disdain."

Weakness.  Growing weakness.  Time was running out.  Spock could not deal with mazes anymore.  With an intake of breath and a sharp pang of regret in his chest, he forced the doors open.  Memories were exposed.  Pain.  Fear.  Anger.  Hate.  Overwhelming, almost.

"Let me help," Spock whispered.

"Let me die," she pleaded.

"I must help," he reiterated, stronger.

"Let me die."  Pain.  Pain.  Pain.  Shattered images like broken mirrors.

"Help."

"Die."  Pain.  Hate.  Pain.  Anger.  Pain.

"Help!" Spock fought through the fiery haze to keep contact.  He was losing her.  

"Let…me…die!"  Screams, male and female, pierced the conversation as everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Screams of pain tore the silence that had settled over the sickbay.  Screaming, Sock pulled violently away, stumbling back, and collapsing limply to the floor.  Screaming, Lexxi, who'd begun to shake once more, jerked fiercely beneath the strong grips of the doctor and the captain before she, too, fell still and silent.

"Spock!" Kirk shouted, rushing to his side.

"Christine!" McCoy called to Nurse Chapel, "Help him get Spock to a bed."  He went about stabilizing his now cooperative patient and setting her broken ribs.  "What'd I tell 'em?" he mumbled.  "What'd I tell 'em?" 


	10. Chapter Ten

*Author's Note ~ I have not done one of these in a while, but I feel it is needed now.  First I must apologize for the long break there.  I was sick for a while and had to make up and bunch of stuff for school and then I was gone for the weekend, so there was not much time to type.  I have a lot written, several chapters ahead of this, but I just have to type them, which is a real chore.  Also, so far this story has been pretty much action.  But I labeled it drama, and here is where it starts getting dramatic.  And perhaps confusing.  I'm putting in a lot of ideas that I'm not so sure will work out, so bear with me.  If you get confused about anything at all, just ask.  I either try to explain or tell you that the explanation comes later and you'll have to be patient.  And as always, be hard on me.  Give me all the criticism you have.

Kirk walked through the doorway and listened for the whoosh as the pneumatic door slid closed.  He sat on the edge on his bed, thinking about sleeping but knowing it wouldn't happen.  Getting up, he went to his computer, leaning heavily on the desktop.

"Kirk to sickbay."

"McCoy here."

"Bones…"

"No.  Neither of them are awake.  Yes, he is fine.  She's in pain right now, but she'll live.  Yes, I will call you with any change."  The doctor sounded tired.  He had the right to be.  It was ships night and he'd just gotten out of surgery.  "Happy?"

"No."

"Get some sleep.  McCoy out."

That was a refreshing conversation.  Kirk sighed and slid into his chair.  He laid his throbbing head on the cool wood surface.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk."

He immediately came to life as the night shift communications officer's voice rang in his ear.

"Kirk here."

"Sir, Admiral Connell wishes to speak with you.  Shall I put it through down there?"

"No.  I'll be right up."  Kirk stood, tugged on the hem of his shirt and ran a hand through his hair.  Sighing once more, he left his quarters.

"On screen," Kirk waved his hand at Lt. Kohl, motioning for her to sit back in the center chair.  "I won't be here long."  He stood in front of the helm as the image on the view screen changed from passing stars to the kind, worn-out face of the Admiral.

"Where is she, Kirk?  I want to talk to her."

Kirk was startled by Connell's sudden aggressiveness.  "You can't, she's sleeping."

The Admiral sighed and he seemed to age ten years.  Kirk was intrigued.  "Why?"

Connell hesitated.  "Diplomatic business," he said finally, "You are to bring her here to earth as soon as possible."

"Earth?"

"Yes, she's needed."

Needed?"  Kirk did not like where this was going.  "Needed?  Why?"

"That's confidential."  Admiral Connell shifted uneasily behind his large desk.

"I can't," Kirk stated bluntly, going back to an earlier part of the conversation.

Connell was taken aback.  "And why not?" he demanded.

Kirk smiled sweetly.  "The Enterprise is scheduled for shore leave, and I promised my crew nothing before.  Besides, Lieutenant Montgomery is in no condition to be moved.  My Chief Medical Officer just finished operating and has informed me that he is unsure at this time as to whether or not she will recover."  Kirk decided that he needed to rest, whether he slept or not, he was beginning to sound like Spock.

"Recover?" the Admiral frantically asked.  "Recover from what?"

"Several ribs had been broken, as were facial bones.  She suffered from a concussion, internal injuries, severe internal bleeding, third degree burns and massive psychological trauma."

"Oh god, what have I done?"  Admiral Connell seemed to wilt as he slumped in his chair before the view screen returned to space.

"Transmission ended, sir," the communications officer stated.  Kirk turned to face her.

"Thank you, Ensign…"

"Lieker, sir."

"Ensign Lieker.  Yes.  Thank you."  The captain quickly left the bridge.


	11. Chapter Eleven

It had been several hours.  Spock had awoken and been moved to leaver her in peace.  Still she slept.  This worried Dr. McCoy.  The sedatives had worn off and still she slept.  Going to check on Lieutenant Montgomery for the umpteenth time that morning, McCoy was startled to hear singing coming from her room.  He leaned in the doorway, listening to the soft, alto voice.

Hello darkness, my old friend 

_I've come to talk with you again_

_Because a vision softly creeping_

_Left its seeds while I was sleeping_

_And the vision that was planted in my brain_

_Still remains_

_Within the sound of silence."_

"Tell you friend there that visiting hours are over," the doctor said, smiling as he entered the room, "it's time for your examination."  He smiled, but the words of the song disturbed him.  A vision softly creeping left its seeds while I was sleeping?  How aware was she of Spock's help?  "Beautiful song," he commented as he checked her pulse.  "Did you write it?"

Lieutenant Montgomery, who'd been positioned on her side, lifted her eyes to McCoy's kind face.  "No," she whispered.  Her eyes were tired, and her face lined with pain.  "Sounds familiar."  She moved her eyes to stare past the doctor.  "Doesn't it?"

Dr. McCoy did not try to hide his surprise.  He'd just been thinking the same thing.  Brushing the incident away, he changed the subject.  "I'm sorry about the pain.  Nothing I have seems to work."

There was no response.  The doctor prayed a silent prayer of thanks for her calm, even breathing of deep sleep as he finished checking her over and quietly left.  At least there was no more pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spock tried to meditate, but the effort was futile.  Sickbay was not the place.  In addition to the noise and distraction of his surroundings, Spock's mind would not focus.  Those words echoed in his ears.  The words of the song disturbed him.

I am shielded in my armor 

_Hiding in my room, safe within my womb_

_I touch no one and no one touches me._

_I am a rock._

_I am an island._

He got up and slid off the bed, trying not to acknowledge the thought that persisted so violently.  The song described him.

McCoy exited the girl's room, and Spock approached him.  "Doctor."

"What is it, Spock?"  The doctor was hiding his exasperation.

"I wish to be released."

Released? No."

"I will report to my quarters."

For the second time in ten minutes, McCoy couldn't believe what he was hearing.  "You're not going to insist upon returning to duty?"

"I was told to skip two shifts.  I plan to meditate in my quarters through the second, as I am unable to do so here."

The doctor sighed.  "Then I don't see why not.  As long as you rest."

Affirmative, doctor.  How is Lieutenant Montgomery?"

"Sleeping again, though still in pain.  It'll take another couple of days for her to fully heal.  Go on, before I get Christine to escort you."

Spock abruptly turned to leave, but when McCoy had settled in his office, turned again to stop in the doorway to the isolated room in which Lieutenant Montgomery had been place.

She lay with her back to him; it was bare and bandaged loosely.  Her thick, black curls had been clipped neatly up and out of the way.  She seemed to remain asleep.

"You are leaving."  It was not a question or an accusation, but a simple statement.  Her clear, calm voice startled him, but he did not show it.

"I have been released.  Therefore, I am leaving."

"I know what you did."  Lieutenant Montgomery remained motionless.  "I know about the mind meld.  You learned about me, but I also learned about you.  That was a grave personal risk."  She sighed.  "I couldn't let you do that for nothing."

Spock realized that Lieutenant Montgomery was addressing a disturbing thought he had uncovered in her mind.  He remained silent, however, still regretting his forced entry into her innermost thoughts.

"Thank you." her soft words interrupted his thoughts.

"Gratitude is a human emotion…" Spock began.

"And you are not accustomed to human emotions.  I know.  I'm sorry."

Silence settled on the room and Spock, assuming the conversation had ended, turned to leave.  He heard her begin to hum softly and stopped as it turned to words.

_And a rock feels no pain._

_And an island never cries._


	12. Chapter Twelve

"Is Mr. Spock all right?" Lexxi asked as the doctor walked into the room.  She was sitting up, her bandaged back to the door.

"Did I tell you that you could get up?" McCoy countered as he walked around the bed to face her.  He was the concerned look on her face and sighed.  "Yes, he's fine.  Returned to duty two days ago."

There was a pause as McCoy examined Lexxi.  He felt for her ribs through the slight, backless shirt with sure, strong hands and she jumped back.

"Hurt?" he asked.

She shook her head slightly.  "Don't you have scanners for that?" she asked.

The doctor grinned.  "That's too impersonal, I'm just an old country doctor.  How can you heal without any touch?"

Lexxi smiled for the first time revealing white teeth.  She changed the subject.  "Could you tell Captain Kirk he has my graditude?"

McCoy motioned for Lexxi to turn around and as she did, said, "You can tell him yourself tomorrow."  He gently unwound the bandages covering her burnt back.  "I'm releasing you today, and we arrive at Star Base 028 for shore leave in the morning.  I believe the captain wants to take you down with him.  And I'm thinking about letting you go, if you rest for the remainder of the day."  Lexxi felt his warm touch trace the outline of the healing skin.  "Not quite, you'd better be careful for a while," the doctor warned.

"Yes, sir."  McCoy noticed a hint of sadness in the girl's voice.  He took a hold of her shoulders and softly turned her to him.  She recoiled at his touch, as Spock would and had.  He added this to his growing list of questions for her.

"Do you want to talk about something?  What did they do to you down there?" he asked quietly.

She shrugged.  "No."  Lifting her eyes to his, she was startled by the caring in their beautiful blue.  "You're releasing me?"

"Yes, but not before some questions."

Lexxi frowned.  "Okay…" her voice trailed off as McCoy pulled a chair up beside the bed.

"I've been doing a little research," the doctor began, a hint of pride in his tone, "and there is no record of anything…anyone like you."

"I know."

"And…"

"I believe you are the one who needs to continue, doctor, you have yet to ask anything," Lexxi replied, aware of the frustration this caused McCoy.

"Right," McCoy replied curtly and then sighed.  "Why?"

"Why what?"  Lexxi countered, avoiding his question.

"I'm going to lay everything out on the table for you, Lieutenant, and you're gonna explain some things," McCoy raised his voice.

"Call me Lexxi," Lexxi asked calmly.

"Lexxi," he repeated and paused, thrown slightly off by her request.  "I've looked over your medical records and they state that you are a healthy human."

"Yes."

"But I have seen with my own eyes and you have admitted to me that you are not."

"Right."

"How were you able to fool some of Starfleet's best doctors like that?"

"Very carefully," Lexxi answered, smiling.  "What else?"

McCoy frowned.  He obviously wasn't getting anywhere with this conversation.  "When Jim…the Captain brought you in, you were dripping with silver blood.  But when he set you on the bed and saw his shirt soaked with it, he look surprised, scared maybe.  Why?"

"I can't answer that."

"Why the hell not?"

"You are asking me to explain another person's reaction.  I can't do that.  I can speculate.  Maybe there was more than he expected, maybe less.  Perhaps it wasn't the color he expected.  Perhaps, doctor, he did not see it before.  I don't see why you are so worried about this."

"Perhaps you're right," the doctor sighed.  He sat back in his chair and looked thoughtful, his jaw jutted out to one side.  "One more," he said after a few seconds of silence.  "Is it warm in here?"

"Yes, slightly."

"Is it always warm for you?"

"No, I'm usually quite comfortable."

"Then why now?"

"You're the doctor."

"Dammit, girl!" McCoy suddenly exploded.  "Why won't you tell me anything?"

Lexxi bit her bottom lip.  Unshed tears welled up in her eyes, clouding her vision.  She swore inwardly, tensing up. In and out, don't get involved, she told herself.  But the doctor, with concern creasing his face and caring in his eyes stood and reached out to place a cool hand on her flushed cheek.

"Don't!" she spat, "You pretend to care, but only long enough to gain my trust."  Each word came as though bitter in taste, hastily spit out.

"Is that what you think?" McCoy asked quietly asked, falling back into his chair, eyes wide.

"No," Lexxi replied, the epitome of calm, "it's what I know.  People like you just can't wait to get your hands on someone like me."

"You know?"

"Yes, doctor.  No one is perfect.  Charades end and facades fall and soon someone knows.  I was different.  Something to fear."

"Something to fear," McCoy repeated, "you mean they…"

"Do you really want to know?"  Lexxi interrupted, jaw set and eyes ablaze.  "Yes, it is warm in here.  But only because I have not been able to compensate for that yet.  The captain froze at the sight of my silver blood because it was red the last time he had seen it.  And I fool all of those damned doctors that same way I fooled you years ago, Doctor Leonard Horatio McCoy!"


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Kirk placed a hand on the back of Spock's chair, careful not to touch the Vulcan.  "You're distracted," he observed, " are you sure you're okay?"

"I assure you, Captain," Spock replied, spinning abruptly in his chair to face Kirk, "I am fine.  However, you are correct that I cannot focus.  Lieutenant Montgomery is to be released today?"

"Yes, Spock, Bones is to tell us when."

"I must speak with her."

Kirk frowned.  That girl had done something to his first officer.  "What did you see in that mind meld?" he asked.

"Great pain," Spock mumbled before look up at Kirk.  "Captain, are you familiar with the words 'And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries'?"

"No, Spock, why?"

"I believe it is a song, but I cannot seem to remember the rest of the words."

"You know them?" Kirk was getting lost.

"I did at one time," Spock admitted, "but they have, I believe the phrase is, 'slipped my mind.'  This worries me, I usually have a good memory."  He turned back to his station, leaning on his elbows and steepling his hands.  "Lieutenant Montgomery has excellent control over her body and mind.  When I melded with her, I encounter a mental shield similar to a brick wall."

"A brick wall?" Kirk was talking to his friend's back.

"Yes.  A mental shield even a Vulcan would envy."

"Wow."  Kirk swallowed his teasing in his wonder.

"I could not penetrate it, I had to be let in by making myself as vulnerable to her as she would be to me."

Kirk understood the risk Spock had taken to save this girl's life.  He did not understand, however, where this conversation was going.  "And…"

"And even then, beyond that, doors."

"Doors?"

"You are having difficulty grasping this," Spock remarked.

"Please continue," Kirk urged.  He was intrigued.

"My mind was bombarded by pain.  Pain and fear and anger and hate."  Spock turned once more to face the Captain, his expression impassive.  "Almost as in self defense."

"Is that when you broke the link?"

"No.  I fought with her for some time.  And all the while, that song.  Those words."

"And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries."

"Yes.  Finally, she withdrew in exhaustion, violently breaking the link."

"I see."

"Captain, I must talk with her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I was messed up," Lexxi began, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.  She sighed.  "I suppose I should tell you, although I've already told you more than I want."

"Well in that case," Dr. McCoy replied, "you don't…"

"No," Lexxi interrupted.  "You want to know, and after I'm gone, you won't have the chance.

After I'm gone… 

The doctor frowned as Lieutenant Montgomery continued.

"I don't remember where I was or why, but I was in this bar, and you were there.  I'll never forget your face.  I was high, full of heroin, and about to wash it down with tequila.  You sat beside me and said with a laugh—you'd been drinking too, I could tell—you said, "That's not a good idea."

"Yes," McCoy said slowly, "yes, I remember.  You glared at me and downed that bottle like I'd never seen and went into shock.  It was strange, the first thing I notice was that your body temperature…"

"Dropped significantly, I know, I was unconscious and unable to control."

"Scared the hell out of me," McCoy chuckled, "I was a first year med student and green as a Vulcan."  He paused, looking Lexxi over, still full of questions like, 'Why haven't you changed?'  Instead he asked, "What made you wasn't to do a stupid thing like that?"

"You managed to stabilize me and get me to a hospital.  By then, I'd regained consciousness.  And control.  You stayed with me all night."

"But you were gone by morning.  They turned that hospital upside down looking for you."

Lexxi was silent.

"Why?" the doctor probed."

"Back then, my motto was, 'If you know my name, you know too much."  Lexxi sighed.  "You were very kind."

McCoy blushed.  "Christine!"  Nurse Chapel came bustling in.  "Measure Lexxi here for a new uniform."  Chapel smiled at Lexxi, who quickly stood up.  McCoy held our a hand to steady her as she swayed and she pulled out of his grip, returning to her cool, collected, distanced demeanor.  "I'll be in my office," he informed them before leaving.

Still smiling, Nurse Chapel took Lexxi's measurements.  She winced at the sight of the beginnings of a horrible scar on Lexxi's back.  "Dr. McCoy can take care of this when it's fully healed," she commented, barely brushing it with the tips of her fingers.  Lexxi cringed, taking a step forward, away from Chapel's warm touch.  "Sorry," Chapel apologized.  Lexxi remained silent.  "Sit tight," the nurse told the girl's back, "I'll be back."  She left.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

"McCoy to bridge."

Kirk pressed a button on the arm of his chair and responded, "Kirk here."

"Well, Jim, she's getting dressed.  I suppose you could come on down."

"All right, then," Kirk replied, "We'll be right down.  Kirk out."  He looked to the science station, "Come along, Mr. Spock, let's go see how our rescuee is doing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lexxi looked around the empty room and sighed.  "That went well," she said aloud and jumped at the sound of her voice.  Laughing at her own feeble attempt to comfort herself, she wandered over to the small table in the corner.  On it laid her old clothes, the long black skirt and black tank they'd found her in.  The clothes she'd been captured in.  Freshly filed memories threatened to break the locks on her filing cabinets.  Swallowing hard, she forced her eyes to move to the pile of jewelry next to the black garments.  Her jewelry.  She brushed it into her hand and made her way to the far wall.  Carefully cupping the rest in her hand she took one earring at a time and, with the help of the mirror on the wall, put them in three in each lobe, two in the cartilage on the left, one in the right.  She was genuinely surprised that none had been lost.

Opening her hand, Lexxi studied its contents.  She took out the dog tag, engraved with her name, and pulled it over her head.  Her hands were trembling, and the cross and hematite chain choker had to be clasped.  She dropped them both.

"Oh dear, let me help you."  Nurse Chapel hurried in and, seeing Lexxi bent over, set the new uniform on the bed, ran to her and swooped up the necklaces.  She looked them over before placing each around Lexxi's dark neck.  "They're gorgeous," Chapel commented, "Where'd you get them?"

Lexxi sighed and frowned, spinning on her heel to face the nurse.  She was amazed by the other's constant willingness to help.  "They were gifts," she answered shortly, not offering any more information.

"How nice," Chapel replied.  "The captain and Mr. Spock are waiting to see you.  I told them you'd be out shortly.  I'll leave now so you can get dressed."  With that, she was gone.

Lexxi sighed again.  This was becoming an unsettling habit for her.  She looked around and noticed the pile of blue on the bed.  Suddenly aware that her head had begun to ache, Lexxi slowly dressed herself in the slim blue dress with a low collar and a short skirt.  She also found a brush and a pack of pins.  "How thoughtful."  She was also beginning to talk to herself.  Lexxi sighed.  Going to the mirror, she pinned up her hair.

Lexxi's arms dropped to her sides as she gazed upon the girl staring back at her.  She felt so old that at times it startled her to see how young she really looked.  She didn't deserve to be eternally young.  She deserved to die.

The room was terribly warm, and her cheeks were flushed blue.  She looked sick compared to the nice rosy tint of humans.  Dripping her lids until she looked through slits, Lexxi concentrated inward.  Thinking better of it, she stopped.  And sighed.  Recollecting herself, she headed for the doorway of the isolated room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The doctor stopped talking and Kirk turned to look where all eyes were directed.  Smiling, he took Lexxi's hand and brought it to his lips.  He could feel her cringe at his touch and quickly let go.

"Captain," Lexxi acknowledged him and the other, "Doctor, Mr. Spock."  After a slight nod to each, she lowered her eyes to her feet.

"Well, Lieutenant," Kirk began, "how are you feeling this morning?"

"Fine, sir," Lexxi replied, "a bit tired."

"We'll take care of that," the captain assured her, "Mr. Spock is going to escort you to your quarters."

"Thank you," Lexxi avoided looking at Spock.

There was an uncomfortable silence.  It was Spock who finally spoke.  "Shall we go, Lieutenant?"

"Yes," Lexxi replied, anxious to direct the conversation elsewhere.  "Yes, we shall.  Thank you so much, doctor."

McCoy smiled, not sure if he was being thanked for his physical healing, or something more.  "Anytime, my dear, anytime."

"Captain," Lexxi once more turned to Kirk, keeping her eyes steady on his.

"Lieutenant," Kirk acknowledged her.

Spock turned to leave and Lexxi slowly followed him.  With the soft whoosh of the pneumatic door, Kirk turned to face McCoy.  He studied his friend's face silently before speaking.

"Well, doctor, what troubles you?"  McCoy had been uncommonly quiet.

"The girl," McCoy replied, "is something else."

"Oh?"

"When she woke up, days ago, I walked in on her…singing."

"Singing?" Kirk repeated excitedly.  Perhaps this was another piece to the puzzle troubling Spock and, consequently, himself.

"Yea, singing.  The words…oh god, I remember them like it was yesterday."  He spoke them, not about to try to carry a tune:

_                Hello darkness, my old friend_

_                I've come to talk with you again_

_                Because a vision softly creeping_

_                Left its seeds while I was sleeping_

_                And the vision the was planted in my brain_

_                Still remains_

_                Within the sound of silence._

The doctor's voice trailed off as he frowned.

Kirk's eyes widened as he whispered, "Like a mind meld."

McCoy suddenly came alive, "That's exactly what I was thinking Jim, but damnit, she beat me to it.  She said, before I said anything, she said, 'Sounds familiar, doesn't it?'  I'm telling you, Jim, there's more to that girl than she's letting us see.

Kirk frowned determinedly.  "I'm going to have to talk with her."

McCoy chuckled, "Good luck.  Talking with her is talking in circles.  Be glad if you get anywhere."

Kirk sighed, "I wonder how Spock is doing, then."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Their footsteps echoed through the empty corridor.  Neither had spoken since their departure from sickbay.  Lexxi walked a half a step behind Spock, keeping her eyes on the back of his head.  She opened her mouth to speak, but heard his low, gravelly voice, "I must apologize, Lieutenant."  He said this without slowing, without turning.  Without waiting for her to respond, he continued.  "My entering your mind was an invasion of your privacy."

Lexxi closed the gap between her and the Vulcan.  Smiling, she looked into his bottomless dark eyes and asked, "Was that the most logical way to start this conversation?"

"It had to be said," Spock replied, not looking at her.

"I accept your apology," Lexxi stated, "with on of my own."

This seemed to startle Spock and he looked at her.  She stopped walking and he obediently did the same, studying her face, his eyes landing on hers.

Spock's scrutiny disturbed Lexxi and she stumbled over her words.  "I wanted to…uh, I apologize, Mr. Spock, for resisting your mind meld so persistently.  It must have been painful for you."  She smiled.  "One hell of a ride, huh?"

With an impassive expression on his lean face, Spock turned and continued walking.  Lexxi had no choice but to follow.  He kept the pace slow, so she would not tire herself, but this was not a leisurely stroll.  This one was so unpredictable.  He carefully reviewed the situation in his mind.  He knew what he wanted to find out, but was having difficulties easing into the subject, as he had found worked best with humans.  But she was not human.

Suddenly, Spock stopped walking.  Lexxi had to sidestep to avoid running into him.  "This is it," he stated simply and paused.  The door whooshed open and Lexxi cautiously stepped through.  Turning to thank him, she noticed that he was frowning.  To anyone else, it would have been indiscernible, but she'd spent enough time among his kind to know a frown.

""May I join you?" he asked, "I wish to speak with you."

Lexxi started at the request.  Not as predictable as the thought, was he?  "Of course, Mr. Spock, come on in.  You probably know where everything is anyway"  She took another step into the darkened room and allowed him to pass her.  On the way, he tuned on the lights.  The tension in the plain room was thick and heavy.  It had to be hers, Vulcans were never tense.

Sitting gingerly on the bed, Lexxi clasped her hands casually in her alp.  She sat at the foot of the bed, and waited for the brooding Vulcan to take a seat next to her.  Spock, however, remained standing in the shadows.  "Please sit," she requested.  He sat and began to speak.

"I am sure you are aware of what I am about to address."

Lexxi sighed, "I have a pretty good idea yes."  This was not going to be like her conversation with the doctor.  "I cannot guarantee answers."

"Indeed."

There was a pause.

"The words," Lexxi began, "are an ancient form of Vulcan healing."  She stopped, noting that the climate in the room was rather warm for her.  This was a problem.  It was probably rather cool for him.  "Computer," she called out, "raise climate to simulate Vulcan."

"You need not do that." Spock protested.

Lexxi frowned and continued her earlier strain of conversation.  "I don't know how they work, why they work, or anything about them.  Hell, I didn't even know they were going to work."  She carefully studied Spock's face.  It revealed none of his thoughts.

"I, uh, learned them from a healer I'd become acquainted with during my stay on Vulcan.  I only know they help with meditation and focus during loss of control."

"Quite correct, Lieutenant," Spock stated crisply, "You were on Vulcan?"

"Yes," Lexxi answered slowly.  She was unsure of what exactly she wanted to reveal.  I f she began speaking, she may not stop until it was too late.  But he had the right to know.  He'd revealed plenty to her already.  "I arrived in 2245 and left a year after you did.  I was perfecting my knowledge of the Vulcan language, learning about its culture and escaping Earth."  Lexxi cursed inwardly.  Already, she'd said too much.

One of the Vulcan's eyebrows shot up in puzzlement.  "Escaping Earth?"

Lexxi suddenly became aware of the heat.  Her feet were sweating in their boots and her hands became slippery with moisture.  A part of her cried out, yearning achingly to tell this stoic figure everything, sure that within the deep abyss in his eyes there was understanding.  He knew her pain, some of it, shared her isolation.  She'd seen what she was sure no one had seen…emotion in the emotionless.

No, stop!  Lexxi mind screamed.  It will all be over soon.  All be over soon.

Minutes had passed since the last word spoken.  The silence weighed heavy on the room.  Spock was sure Lieutenant Montgomery was not going to elaborate.  He abandoned the hanging questions and instead stated bluntly, "You saw that this troubled me in the mind meld."

"Yes," Lexxi agreed.  She kept her eyes on his, anticipating the next blow, the one to topple her precarious balance and send her over the edge.  She was strung so tight and her mind had such a weak hold over her heart.  Her heart, that knew that the end was near and wished to relieve the pain.

Spock watched as Lieutenant Montgomery's cheeks flushed gray blue and her eyes, piercing green, blazed with frustration.

"Lieutenant," he called her and she looked away, her hard expression melting to a weak smile.

"Call me Lexxi."  Even though she knew he wouldn't, she tried.  So many people shunned away from the informality.

Spock plunged directly into his questions.  "Do the words 'And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries' come from a song?"

Lexxi paused, momentarily confused.  Then she remembered.  It was in her head.  The same time he was.  "May I access the ship's library?"

"Of course, Lieutenant."  It hadn't worked.

Lexxi rose from the bed and slid into the chair behind the desk.  "Computer, access the ship's library," she commanded.

"Working…" a flat female voice replied.  "Ship's library accessed."

"Look up music, middle to late twentieth century."  Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Spock raise an eyebrow.  "Simon and Garfunkel, 'I Am A Rock,' play audio supplement and store on disk."  Lexxi turned slightly in her chair to face the now standing Vulcan as the soft guitar drifted through the room.  His face remained empty as they both listened.

_A winter's day  
In a deep and dark December;  
I am alone,  
Gazing from my window to the streets below  
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.  
I am a rock,  
I am an island._

_I've built walls,  
A fortress deep and mighty,  
That none may penetrate.  
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.  
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.  
I am a rock,  
I am an island._

_Don't talk of love,  
Well I've heard the word before;  
It's sleeping in my memory.  
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.  
If I never loved I never would have cried.  
I am a rock,  
I am an island._

I have my books  
And my poetry to protect me;  
_I am shielded in my armor,  
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.  
I touch no one and no one touches me.  
I am a rock,  
I am an island_

_.And a rock feels no pain;  
And an island never cries._

"I'm sorry," Lexxi whispered.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

"I fail to see the reason for your apology, Lieutenant."  Spock broke the silence.

"I don't think so," Lexxi countered.

All she got for a reply was a mild look of surprise, a slight raising of the Vulcan's graceful eyebrows.  She continued.

"In fact, I know you do."  Lexxi was riding the high of being right.  "You see my reason, you're just afraid to acknowledge it.  Afraid because me reason…the reason for my apology is not logical.  It's purely emotional, and to acknowledge what you see would be to admit to emotion.  A weakness of a sort."

Spock felt a twinge of anger, but pushed it aside, keeping his eyes steady on the dark girl sitting across the room from him.

"I'm sorry," Lexxi worked to keep her voice steady and calm, "for the disturbance in your emotional balance the song must have caused."  She paused.  "It was not meant for you, and you should not take it that way."  Taking the disk from the computer, she tossed it casually on the desk.  It slid across the smooth surface, barely stopping before falling to the floor.  "You may have that."  She took her eyes from his and, bowing her head, stared at her sweaty hands, her fingers entwined together.

"I know isolation, Mr. Spock.  I learned at a very early age what isolation and loneliness were.  I found that if I hid the pain away beneath doors and walls, I felt it less and less."  Lexxi was getting sick of the sound of her own voice.  Or maybe just sick in general.  It was getting really hot.  "Everything I know is locked safely away, never to be unwillingly seen again."

Spock finally spoke, "You have control of your mind that a Vulcan would envy."

"If they could.  Envy is a human emotion."

"Quite right, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, Mr. Spock, I'm flattered."  Lexxi looked up at him and back at her lap.  "What you saw were only the memories of my stay on the planet's surface.  I had not, as of that time, been able to…file them away…you might say.  Quite painful, but it was not a fair mind meld."

"So not worry, Lieutenant," Spock replied, "I am unconcerned about that fact."

"I just thought it needed explaining."

"Understandable."

Lexxi glanced up at the chronometer.  "Good god!" she exclaimed, "I'm keeping you from your duties."

Seconds later, McCoy's voice came over the intercom, "Spock!  You let that girl sleep, you hear me?"

Spock pivoted and walked toward the door.  "I must follow the good doctor's orders," he said, and Lexxi wondered if he was trying for humor.  "Thank you, Lieutenant, for an enlightening conversation."  And he was gone.

"Lexxi," Lexxi sighed to an empty room.  "Computer," she called, standing in the middle of her cabin, dripping sweat, "lower temperature to freezing and raise moisture level to maximum."  She sank to her knees as a wave of icy, moist air engulfed her.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Four pairs of ears heard the pained scream tear from Lexxi's cabin and echo through the corridor; one pair was pointed.  Four figures rushed to the door.  Mr. Spock took command and pushed through two security officers and a passing yeoman to override the lock and dash through the doorway.  He quickly analyzed the room, assessing the situation.  The pounding water led him to the bathroom and the shower.

Grabbing a large towel embroidered with the Starfleet insignia, Spock knelt by Lexxi's still form.  He ignored the steam clouding in the small, enclosed space and the streams of hot water running into his eyes and gently wrapped the towel around her gray-blue body.  Looking back at the crowd that had gathered around the outside door, he stood.  "Get the medics down here," he commanded crisply.  Several men jumped at the sound of his voice.

Spock once more knelt beside Lexxi, studying the blistered flesh on her back.  Closing his eyes, he slowly placed his long, slender fingers on her burning cheek, radiating calm and control to her frenzied mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lexxi never felt the impact of the shower floor.  She just kept falling and falling.  Surrounded but thick, suffocating blackness and intense heat, there was nothing to see, nothing to grab on to.  Her ears crackled like communicator interference, her mind raced and got nowhere.  Perfect.

Suddenly, Lexxi became aware of a cool streak of clam flowing through the pain.  It grew and enveloped her, easing the pain.  She knew what was happening and fought it.  There was no link, no two-way street.  Only calm.  She fought to forbid this, to order him to stop.  But she kept falling, blind and powerless.  Falling and unable to resist the healing calm holder her.  Falling…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Doctor McCoy arrived with two nurses and a gurney.  He walked in on Spock, his hands pressed to Lexxi's face, his own face slightly twisted in concentration, pounding water distorting the doctor's view.

"Good lord!" McCoy exclaimed, turning off the water and rushing to kneel next to Spock.  "What the hell happened in here?  Stop that!"  As the Vulcan took his hands away, McCoy pulled out his scanner, waving it in the air over Lexxi's still form.  "My god, she's stable.  That's a good thing.  I'm going to have a hell of a time coaxing her to heal all over again!"  The doctor lifted the light and limp girl and placed her on the gurney on her front.  "Take her to sickbay," he told the nurses, as if there were anywhere else to take her, "tell Christine to give her some painkillers and start redressing her back.  She should wake up soon."

Both Spock and McCoy stared intently as the nurses left with the gurney and Lexxi on it.  The doctor turned abruptly on the Vulcan and looked him over.  Spock was shivering a trying her to keep his teeth from chattering.  "Damnit, Spock," McCoy began, "look at you!  You're dripping wet and it's damn near freezing in hear!  How did all this happen?"  They left the icy cabin and began to walk to sickbay.

"I am unsure, doctor, I had left the room earlier.  From what I was able to see, it appeared that the water was too hot, reopened her wounds and put her into shock."

"I know that, Spock," McCoy replied, "I'm the doctor.  How?"

"As I said before, I am unsure.  I had left.  I can only speculate."

Then speculate!"

"I could be incorrect."

"So?" McCoy challenged, eyeing him defiantly.  "You could be right!"

Spock would have sighed, but Vulcan's didn't sigh.  "During our conversation, Lieutenant Montgomery raised the climate in the room.  She became uncomfortable and overheated."

"That makes no sense!  Why didn't you stop her?"

"She insisted.  I assume that after my departure she lowered the temperature to suit her."

"And what does that have to do with anything?"

Spock came close to sounding exasperated.  Close, but no cigar.  "I cannot think of a logical reason for the temperature setting of the water."

"I can," McCoy put in, "Only it's not logical."  He looked at the Vulcan triumphantly.  "Lexxi has the ability to change herself.  Strangest thing I've seen in a while.  Instead of having your problem with the climate not suiting her, she would normally changer herself to suit the climate."

"Fascinating."

"Damn right.  Normally.  She hasn't regained enough strength to do that yet.  She probably forgot."

Spock nodded slightly, though he held some reservations about this conclusion.  They had reached sickbay, and he follow McCoy through the door.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Lexxi kept her breath small and her heartbeat faint.  As long as she could keep herself unconscious, she could hide in the thick, comforting blackness of nothing.  Her plan was falling apart, piece-by-piece, and she was the problem.  Why did she have to care so much?  Why did they?  She heard voices.  Exasperated voices.  No explanation for her unconsciousness.  They were becoming suspicious.  She allowed her eyes to flutter open, not yet ready, but having to face the world once more.

"Well, that was stupid."  Lexxi heard the good doctor's voice before she was able to make out his face.  She lay on her front, arms folded neatly beneath her head.

"You again?" she asked s she attempted to push herself up.  Pain assaulted her like daggers of fire and her arms shook and gave out.  McCoy hear her sharp intake of breath and reached out to cradle her head in his hands before it hit the table.  He regretted the fact that he could give her nothing for the pain.

"You'll be seeing an awful lot of me if you keep trying to kill yourself," he shot back.

"I'm sorry," Lexxi said meekly, looking up at the doctor and then past him.  "Mr. Spock?"

"Back on duty hours ago after a change of clothes.  Listen, there's nothing more…"

"How is she, Bones?"  Kirk walked briskly through the sickbay door, interrupting McCoy in mid-sentence.

"Well, as I was just informing Lieutenant Montgomery, here, there's nothing more I can do for her.  Would you like to escort her back to her cabin?  Perhaps she'll stay there and rest for awhile."

"Sure, Bones, my pleasure."  Kirk walked over to Lexxi and gently helped her to sit up.  She recoiled at his touch as the fought dizziness and nausea and gingerly stood, keeping a poker face.  "Feeling better?" he asked her, placing a steadying hand on her arm.

Lexxi nodded, swallowing hard.

"I'll be right back, doctor," Kirk called over his shoulder as he and Lexxi left sickbay.  It was silent for several minutes.  Finally, Kirk spoke.  "I was sitting on the bridge pondering just what I was doing to do first on my shore leave when I got this call from the good doctor telling me that my first officer, my Vulcan fist officer, had gone for a swim in your shower."

"I'm sorry, Captain," Lexxi replied, keeping her eyes down and taking her arm from his hand, "it was all my fault."

"Don't worry about it."  Kirk sighed and then chuckled, "Probably did him good."

"Good?" Lexxi asked, startled, looking up into his eyes.  They stopped walking.  How many times was she going to walk this hall?

Kirk turned to face Lexxi, taking her hands in his.  "You worry too much, you know that?"

Lexxi quickly shut her eyes and pulled away.  "Dr. McCoy said we arrive at Starbase 28 for shore leave in the morning."

"That's right."

Silence settled around them once more.  Awkward silences bothered Kirk and he spoke once again.  "We'll be there two weeks.  Perhaps you can come down for a while.  I'm sure there are things you need after…"

"I'm sure…perhaps," Lexxi echoes.  They'd reached her cabin.  "Thank you," she smiled.

"No problem," Kirk replied, "get some rest."

"I will," Lexxi assure him before disappearing into the dark, icy room.

Kirk sighed before turning and heading back to sickbay.  He had goose bumps and wondered why.  The rush of cold air from Lieutenant Montgomery's room must have chilled him.  This worried him.  A lot of things worried him.  Kirk decided that he worried too much as he rubbed his arms and walked in on the good doctor, who was watching the screen on his desk.  "Is there something I need to knew?"

McCoy looked up and asked very innocently, "About what?"

"Come on, Bones, what do you think?  Nobody tells me anything anymore.  What did Spock and Lexxi talk about for so long?  Why does Admiral Connell want her back so bad?  Why is her room so damned cold?"

"Jim, calm down," McCoy interrupted Kirk's ranting.  "I was joking."  He motioned to the screen.  "Look at this."    
Kirk's eyes moved to the screen as he walked around the desk to stand behind the doctor.  "What is that?"

McCoy leaned back in his chair as if proud of himself.  "I had Lieutenant Montgomery's cabin rigged so that I can monitor the room temperature, her body temperature, heart rate, and neurotransmitters.  She was the climate in her cabin cold and humid for the same reason Spock has his hot and dry.  Her body temperature is hovering around 82.8, which, I am assuming, is average, her heart rate is terribly sluggish, and her neurotransmitters are all over the map."

"But that's normal for her," Kirk concluded.

"I certainly hope so," McCoy agreed.

"What's that for?" Kirk asked, pointing to a flat line at the bottom of the screen.

"Shower temp.  Don't want a repeat of this morning's incident."

Suddenly, all of the measurements on the screen jumped to clean, straight lines.  "What the…!" the doctor exclaimed.

"What's happening?" Kirk asked.

The readings read normal for a human.

"Well I'll be damned," McCoy chuckled.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

As the captain left, Lexxi breathed a sigh of relief.  She stood by the door, motionless, her mind racing.  This was not supposed to happen.  They were not supposed to care.  She was not supposed to get involved.  She'd been so close.  So close, until they came to save her.

_Go ahead, end it all…_

Sighing again, Lexxi moved to stand in front of the mirror.  She studied herself and sighed once more before catching herself and scowling,  The icy air in the room felt good after the hot stuffiness of sickbay.  Her cheeks were tinted gray-blue.  How she had fooled them!  Not strong enough?  Ha!  103% bullshit!  She had the strength all along.  In fact, strength had nothing to do with it.  Her plan would have been flawless.  The perfect fix.  With her body temperature so low, and the doctor believing there was nothing to be done about it, everyone would have assumed it had been an accident, and she would have been gone.

_Go ahead, end it all…_

_Tell the truth…_

It would have been flawless, she would have been gone, had there not been that single, ironic twist of fate.  Herself.

"Damn you," she cursed her reflection aloud, hoping to silence her thoughts, "damn you!"  Closing her eyes, Lexxi focused inward for an instant and willed the change to take place.  The room became chillingly cold and the blue was replaced by a dusky pink.  Once more gazing at her reflection, now more satisfactory, Lexxi mumbled softy, "Alexia Nicole Montgomery, you got your hands full now."  She sighed and looked at her feet.  "He thinks he loves you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Well I'll be damned," McCoy repeated before bringing a hand down on his desk with a thunk.  "She can't do that yet!"

"Do what?  What's going on?"  Kirk had observed the change in the doctor's demeanor and did not understand.

McCoy had stood suddenly, causing the captain to take a step back.  He looked to Kirk and realized that he was clueless.  This would be the second time he'd explained this, and he didn't even fully understand it yet.  All in a day's work, right?

"Lieutenant Montgomery is not human.  But Jim, when you first saw her, she was as human as you or me, right?'

"Right," Kirk replied slowly, "I could have sworn that…it was!  Her blood was red, Bones!  On the planet's surface, I watched…I almost forgot, I watched her make herself bleed.  She rolled her eyes back, slowed her heart, stopped her breathing, collapsed, and bled.  And it was red.  Never seen anything like it!"

"Wow," McCoy sighed, "I never realized the extent of—Jim, she has such amazing control over her self, it's almost scary.  What she just did was totally changer herself to resemble a human.  Her injuries from before cause her to lose control and go back to…default, I suppose you could say, and drained the strength she needed to…compensate is what she called it.  She shouldn't have been able to, not yet anyway, unless," McCoy looked over his shoulder at Kirk as he crossed his arms over his chest, "I understand now.  It was all a trick."

"A trick?" the captain asked.

"A trick.  She could have compensated anytime."

"I don't follow you, doctor."

"She remained at default willingly.  She hates being there, it's obvious.  Her plan was to change back quickly and stay locked up, make us think she'd slowly regained enough strength.  Sure have me fooled.  But what I just don't get is why the hell she would want to do that."  The good doctor frowned.

Kirk imitated his friend, trying to sort through everything in his mind.  It suddenly hit him.

_Let me die…_

Low body temperature.  No strength to bring it up.  Hot shower.  The body temp slipped her mind, as did her recent injuries.  An accident, right?  No, it had been no accident.

"Doctor," Kirk finally spoke, "I believe our new charge is suicidal."


	20. Chapter Twenty

McCoy watched quietly as his two friends argued.  Well, it couldn't really be called arguing, but it was, dare he say, fascinating to watch.  Spock stood, stiff and cold, with a slightly amused expression on his lean face, as Kirk vented his frustration on him.  But Kirk was too busy yelling to notice that his ever stoic, Vulcan First Officer was slowly creeping toward the verge of smiling at him.  The captain was not really mad, couldn't ever be mad at Spock, and the doctor had serious doubts about Spock even being able to be angry.

"What do you mean you'd come to that conclusion days ago?" Kirk asked accusingly.

"Exactly as I stated and you just restated, Captain, I had come to that same conclusion approximately 3.82 days ago."  Spock replied coolly.

"Approximately," McCoy chuckled, speaking for the first time since joining Kirk on his quest for the science officer.  They'd succeeded in finding him in his quarters, where they now stood.

Kirk ignored McCoy's input into the conversation.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I had no concrete evidence with which to back it."

"No concrete evidence?"

"Yes, Captain.  I am still unsure about the evidence I have since received."

"Spock there is never going to be any concrete evidence for such a conclusion!"

"Indeed," Spock matched Kirk's heated frustration with his own calm, "unless, of course, there are witnesses."

Kirk exploded, "There won't be any witnesses as long as she's locked herself in her quarters and changed the override code!  We can't get to her, damnit!"

Taking a step back, Spock closed his eyes, Kirk's loud assault beating fiercely against his sensitive eardrums.  "Then I believe this argument is irrelevant," he stated, opening his eyes and looking straight at Kirk.

Kirk immediately quieted as the reason for Spock's reaction registered in his mind.  "I'm sorry, Spock," he apologized, "I believe you may be right.  How did she know to change the override?"

"That, Captain, is also irrelevant.  The questions now are, what means are currently available to Lieutenant Montgomery to allow her to accomplish her task, how do we reach her, and if we fail to reach her, how do we cut off such resources?"

"Thank the lord for logic," McCoy murmured before slumping, uninvited, into the chair behind Spock's desk.

"Your gratitude is unfounded, Doctor," Spock reprimanded him, "there was no deity involved."

McCoy scowled.

"Okay then, Spock," Kirk cut in, "one step at a time.  Is there a way to know what she's doing in there?  Maybe a way to see into the room?"

"None that I am aware of," Spock replied.

"How about a list of standard items in a guest cabin?  She didn't bring anything on board with her."

"Probable, Captain."

"All right," Kirk smiled, happy to finally be getting somewhere, "Get on that as soon as we're done here."  Spock had the most detailed knowledge of the ship's computers.  "Analyze everything for potential danger."

"Aye, sir."

"Bones," the captain shifted his gaze to the doctor, "I need you to go over absolutely everything you know about Lieutenant Montgomery."

"I've already been through her medical files, Jim," McCoy replied, sitting straighter and placing both hands fat, palm down on the deck, "they're all a lie."

Kirk seemed unfazed by the profound uncovering.  "Everything, Doctor, personal history, psych files…whatever you can find.  Have Uhura help.  She might be able to contact past commanders or something.  Just not," Kirk's expression hardened, "Admiral Connell.  He doesn't need to know."

"Captain," Spock spoke up, "he is…"

"I know, Spock," Kirk replied quickly, "he doesn't need to know."

"All right, Jim," McCoy changed the subject, "I'll get right on it, though it may take a while."

That's fine, Bones, report any findings.  Perhaps with some information, we can dissuade her.  I'll talk with Scotty to see if there's any way to get in."  Kirk sighed.

"One question, Captain, if I may," Spock said.

"Go ahead."

"How can we be so sure she is planning to end her life at this moment?"

The doctor scoffed, "I think it's a little obvious."

Spock looked at McCoy, his face expressionless, his voice a little more forceful.  "On my planet, Doctor, such emotional turmoil is rare, but I assure you, it happens.  On such occasions, we have certain meditations to regain control.  Interruption is mentally and emotionally dangerous."

"Great, Spock!" McCoy exclaimed, "If you're ever in the same situation, we'll know what to do!"

"Lieutenant Montgomery had had extensive Vulcan training."

"I understand what you're getting at, Spock."  Kirk looked to the door.  "But from the erratic display of behavior, I think that's a risk we'll have to take."

"Understandable, Captain, but may I suggest an open mind," Spock paused unnoticeably and looked at McCoy, "form all parties."

"Of course," Kirk replied.

McCoy scowled.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Kirk studied his friend.  Spock stood, distractedly handling a disk that'd been lying on his desk.  "Spock, what'd you learn?  What's this evidence you were talking about?"

It was silent for a while as the Vulcan slipped the disk into the computer.  "Computer," he commanded, "play recorded audio supplement."  Seconds later, the music now familiar to Spock but foreign to Kirk filled the room.  Kirk's eyes lit up at the last two lines of the song.

And a rock feels no pain

And an island never cries.

"Your song," he whispered and Spock looked up at him.

"No, Captain, not my song." Spock kept the wave out of his voice; the song made him uneasy.  "This song, appropriately named I Am A Rock, was written in the early nineteen sixties.  I assure you, Captain, I am not capable of such a feat."

"I'm sure," Kirk replied, smiling slightly at Kirk's modesty.  "And…"

"If I were capable of such emotions, I would say that it is quite depressing."

"Well I am, and I do," Kirk exclaimed, "another strike against our friend here."

"Surely," Spock clarified, "you're not planning to hit Lieutenant Montgomery, Captain."

""Of course not, Spock," Kirk sighed, "It's just a…oh, never mind.  How'd you get this?"

"Lieutenant Montgomery recorded it during out conversation and handed it to me as I left.  We listened to it together."

Kirk gazed at the Vulcan for a moment before accusing, "Something is bothering you, Mr. Spock, report."

Spock hesitated slightly before speaking.  "I have reason to believe that Lieutenant Montgomery is capable of some form of telepathy."

"Some form of telepathy?"

"Yes, Jim, though I do not believe it is initiated by tough, as with Vulcans."

Kirk frowned.  "Reason being…"

"Right after I was released from sickbay, I paid Lieutenant Montgomery a visit before reporting to my quarters to meditate.  She knew I was leaving, addressed an issue that had been puzzling me, and cleared the song from my head, all before I had a chance to initiate conversation."

"Back us, Spock, addressed what issue?"

Spock, with his hands clasped militarily behind his back, squared his shoulders and looked straight at Kirk.  "The thoughts of suicide I had uncovered during my meld with her."

"More evidence?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Spock, just minutes ago it was Jim."

"I apologize."

Kirk shook his head in exasperation.  "Anything else?"

"No, Captain."

"Okay Spock.  You have the conn when shift starts.  We dock at Starbase 28 in the morning."

"6.28 hours."

"Right.  Can you handle it if I'm not done?"

"Affirmative, Captain."  Spock wondered at the captain's need for reassurance.  "Good luck."

Kirk stopped on his way out of the Vulcan's quarters, turned and, startled, said, "I thought you didn't believe in luck."

"I believe that random factors and circumstances can influence the outcome of an event, such as the precise moment and method Lieutenant Montgomery chooses can and will affect whether or not you are able to save her."

"I see." 

I was merely providing the encouragement which, I have observed, helps with a human's performance."

"Right."  Kirk grinned.

Spock noted Kirk's grin and added, "Often, random factors are all one can be sure of with such illogical beings.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

"I can't believe this!" Dr. McCoy exclaimed, pounding his desk with a clenched fist.  Several disks jumped and two fell to the deck.

"Doctor," McCoy's ranting was interrupted by Lt. Uhura's voice.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Captain Hanson to speak with you, sir, as you requested," she replied.

"Right.  Thank you.  Put him on."  McCoy subconsciously straightened his desk as the captain's image appeared in front of him.  "Andy!"

"Leonard, good to see you again."

"You too.  Andy, I need some help."

"What can I do for you, Doctor?"

McCoy became serious.  "Tell me about Lieutenant Montgomery."

Captain Hanson frowned, his brow furrowed in concentration.  "Lieutenant Montgomery…" he repeated, his voice trailing off.

"Alexia Nicole Montgomery," McCoy offered, "Lexxi."

"Lexxi?  Yes, Lexxi!"  Hanson's eyes lit up.  "I remember now.  Why do you need to know about her?"

"Never mind that now," McCoy replied hurriedly, "What can you tell me about her?"

"Not much, I'm afraid, Leonard," Hanson stated, "she was on this shop for two months before I recommended her for transfer."

"You recommended her for transfer?"

"Yeah, she was chief of communications.  But she was so good with words and knew so many different languages and, I don't know, something in the way she handled other species.  She was so perceptive and sensitive; I thought she was being wasted on a lowly freighter.  So I told Admiral Connell, and after a sub-space interview, he requested she be transferred to Earth."

"That makes sense," McCoy commented.  "Anything else?  Personality?  Personal history?"

"I just don't know, Leonard," Hanson answered, "she was so closed and enigmatic.  Only seen for duty.  Never talked about herself."

The doctor sighed.  "That, unfortunately, makes sense too.  Thank you, Andy, you were a big help."

"No problem, it was nice talking to you again."  With that, the screen went blank.

"Any luck, Doctor?" Lt. Uhura came back.

"No, not much.  I need to speak to the captain."

"One step ahead, Doctor," Uhura replied, "he's waiting to talk to you."

"Thanks, put him on."

"Yes sir.  Oh, and Doctor?"

"Lieutenant?"

"I believe I speak for everyone on the bridge when I say, good luck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Aye, sir, I get ya," Scotty replied, "Sounds like one confusing lass."

"Aye, Scotty," Kirk replied, mimicking the Scotsman slightly, "she is."

"But I gotta tell ya, Cap'n, there's no getting' in that room short of blowin' the door down."

Kirk glanced around engineering is if looking for something before his eyes stopped on the Chief Engineer.  "Then we'll do that."

"Captain," Lt. Uhura called over the intercom, "Dr. McCoy is ready to speak to you."

"Put him on.  What's with this, Doctor, now I have to wait for you?"

"I'm sorry, Jim, I was talking to…"

"I know, Bones, don't worry about it.  I need you outside Lieutenant Montgomery's cabin with everything you have."

"That's the thin!  I don't have diddlysquat!  Lexxi is the ultimate introvert, nobody knows anything!'

Silence descended as the doctor's words echoes in Kirk's mind.  The hope that they could dissuade the girl had been dashed, and for the first time the captain of the Enterprise stopped to think.  To really think, not to instinctively strategize on his toes, but to ponder.  Why did those words hurt him so?  Why was there that sinking sense of despair?  Why did he care?  It was his duty to care.  This was a life form in trouble.  It was his duty to save it, to save her.  But what was the danger?  Herself.  Lexxi was in danger of falling into her own hands.  He had never dealt with this before.  Suicide.  He couldn't let anyone end their own life, for any reason.  Something in him rejected the idea.  That was it, but there was more.  Why?  The first time he looked into her eyes, gazed upon the pain and suffering.  As he held her, so thin and fragile and broken, her life seeping from her as his shirt slowly soaked with silver.  He wanted to bring her close, enclose those delicate shoulders in his strong arms, stroke her silky curls, tilt her head, and kiss the pain away.  Bring the sparkle back to those emerald eyes and a true smile to those champagne lips…

"Jim!" McCoy's rough shout broke into Kirk's wandering thoughts.  "What's happening?  Do you need me down there?"

"No, nothing," Kirk replied.

"Where'd you go?"

"Just thinking, Bones, I'm sorry."  Kirk sighed, "Yes, report to Lieutenant Montgomery's quarters immediately."  He froze as a though suddenly hit him.  "We may already be too late."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Dr. McCoy strode quickly down the long hallway, he cursed.  Kirk's last words still rang in his head.

_Already too late…_

_Bring your black bag…_

_May be needed…_

_Hurry…_

Well, he was hurrying.  His med kit jangled as he broke into a jog, rounding a corner and stopping dead in his tracks as he came upon Kirk and Scotty, both aiming a phaser straight at the cabin door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked very loudly.

"Quiet, Doctor, stand back," Kirk ordered crisply, tensely shifting his weight.  "Be ready for anything."  He looked to McCoy, his eyes pleading.

McCoy caught Kirk's pained hazel gaze and quieted, taking a step back.  This was the last option, and Kirk didn't like it either.

Ready for anything?  McCoy wondered.  Where was Spock?  Hadn't he done his job?  That pointy-eared hobgoblin should have analyzed everything in the room, should have known what she'd use.  The doctor stood off to the side, numb, as Kirk ordered, "Fire."

Two bright beams shot from the carefully aimed weapons and hit the locked door.  The metal began to warp and then to melt away.  Someone would not be happy about that mess, McCoy couldn't help but think as the firing stopped and Kirk dropped his phaser.  The captain stepped through the hole.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

The room was dark and warm.  "Lexxi!" Kirk called, quietly at first, then louder.  Lexxi, in her bedchamber, a knife aimed at her throat, panicked.  As the captain rounded the corner to where she was, she quickly flipped it around and aimed it at him.

"Who's there?" she asked harshly, and then ordered the lights raised, watching as Kirk jumped back from the tip of her weapon.

"Lexxi, it's just me!"

"Captain?"  She lowered the knife.

"Yes."  Kirk glanced around the room.  "Are you okay?'

"I am now," Lexxi replied, smiling nervously and slipping the knife behind her back.

"Good.  Bones!  Scotty!  She's okay!"  Kirk called to the two men still waiting in the hall.  They stepped over the melted door and into the room.

"Good god, Jim!" McCoy exclaimed, joining Kirk and Lexxi.  He looked Lexxi over.  "What were you doing in here?"

"Threatening the captain with a knife," Lexxi stated matter-of-factly before Kirk could reply.

McCoy couldn't help but smile.  He then chose his best stern voice and said, "I though I told you to get some sleep.  How can you expect to get any better playing Robin Hood?"

Scotty chuckled.

"I was sleeping," Lexxi defended herself, "until I woke up and found someone blasting through the door!  I decided I didn't want to be melted into oblivion with it."

Kirk looked concerned.  "With a knife?"

"It was better than nothing."

"Wait a minute," McCoy interjected, "How'd you get a knife?"

Lexxi tried to look innocent.  "Very carefully.  So that was you making all that noise."

"Aye," Scotty answered, "'Twas."

"What made you think otherwise?" Kirk asked.

Lexxi lifted her head and tried to look down her nose, but was unsuccessful; they were all taller than she was.  "On a ship like this, with a record like yours, I believe being taken over by giant chocolate doughnuts is higher on the possibility list than being rescued from my beauty sleep by the captain."  She remain still, her expression serious.

The men burst out laughing.

Lexxi tried to pout, but was never very good at it.  "What did you want, anyway?  Besides to scare me out of my wits, of course."

"We had reason to believe that you intended to take your own life, Lieutenant."  Kirk became stern.

"What reason?"

"A previous attempt."

Lexxi eyes flashed with anger mixed with amusement.  "I slipped and fell in the shower!"

The doctor spoke up.  "The hell you fell in the shower!  It wasn't the fall anyway, it was the heat!"

"Well I didn't, did I?" Lexxi shot back.

"The lass is right," Scotty said quietly.

"No," Kirk agreed, "You didn't."

McCoy shook his head.  "I still want to check you over."

Lexxi smiled.  "Proof?"

"Proof."  McCoy nodded to the other two and Kirk and Scotty began to file out of the room.  The doctor turned from Lexxi to fetch his scanner out of his bag.  Lexxi saw her chance.

_Just end the pain…_

In an instant, the knife flicked form it's hiding place.  Dr. McCoy saw a flash of silver from the corner of his eye and quickly spun back around.  Just in time to see the blade aimed at Lexxi's throat.  She plunged and his hand shot out.  "Jim!" he shouted as the tip slipped from its target, taking a slice through Lexxi's shoulder instead.  He tightened his grip as Kirk entered and the knife clattered to the deck.  "Hold her!" the doctor commanded as Lexxi struggled furiously.  Her mind repeated its broken-record message:

_End the pain…end the pain…_

An unintelligible shriek escaped Lexxi's lips as Kirk grasped her wrists and crossed her arms behind her back.  Deep red blood oozed from the gash in her shoulder, squeezed from the strain.  She began to mumble, and Kirk strained to hear.

"No, no don't do this, I came in peace, peace!  Let me go, let me go!  Don't touch me, damn you, get your filthy fingers off of me!  Just kill me!  Get it over with, you son of a bitch, and kill me!"

Lexxi's legs flailed wildly without the use of her arms.  One foot caught McCoy in the stomach as he faced her with a hypo.  He bent momentarily in pain, and then resumed his approach.  "Damn you!" she screamed as the hypo hissed, "No!"  The drug took affect and the world dissolved into blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room was silent.  Mr. Spock sat at his desk in his quarters intently analyzing the information on the screen and carefully watching the chronometer.  Although he would not admit it, even to himself, he was beginning to feel a twinge of frustration.  He did not know how desperate Lieutenant Montgomery was and this was an important deciding factor in the method she would choose.  Nor did he know the limitations she would put on herself.  If one was desperate enough with no limits as to how, one could kill oneself with anything available.  Just has he glanced at the chronometer once more to make sure it was not time for his shift, a terrifying anger surged up in him and took great effort to push back.  Before he could recover, waved of pain and fear washed over him, knocking him from his chair.  Images began to roll from his memory, not his…Lieutenant Montgomery's.  Horrible images he'd encountered in his meld with her.  An involuntary gasp escaped his lips as he watched it happen once more.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

Dr. McCoy detested the computer.  And the transport, but that was different.  He sat it his desk, squinting, with his nose inches from the screen, trying to read the print.  He sighed, frustrated.

"Information unavailable.  Information classified.  Unavailable.  Classified.  Damn," he was mumbling when the door to sickbay whooshed open.

"Where is the Captain?"  Spock's voice broke into McCoy's jumbled thoughts.

"You just missed him…" the doctor replied, turning to face the Vulcan, "…Spock!"  He quickly stood.  "My god, what happened?"

"I have to inform the captain of something, doctor, I was told he had come to sickbay with…you and…"  Spock began to sway and McCoy rushed over to him, leading him to a bed.

"You're not going anywhere," he stated firmly, "I'll get Jim back down here."  McCoy looked the first officer over.  Gazing out from a pale, yet expressionless face was a pair of tired, strained, dark eyes.  A trickle of green fell from a gash just above a gracefully swooping eyebrow.  Spock sat, but stood once more.  "Oh, no you don't," McCoy ordered, "In fact, lay down."  Spock obeyed.  "That's better.  Now, what happened?"

"I need to speak to the captain," Spock insisted.

"He is on his way," McCoy assured him.

"Where is Lieutenant Montgomery?"

"To your left."

"Is she dead?"

"Sleeping."  McCoy sighed.  "Just sleeping.  What happened?" he tried once more.  Just then, the captain walked in.

"All right, Bones, what is it now?" he was saying, "Do I have to babysit you?"

"I was working on the problem presented to me by the captain," Spock calmly responded to the doctor's repeated question.

"Kirk noticed his first officer lying on a bed and exclaimed, "Spock!  What happened?"

"And then you decided to dive head-first at you cabin door!" McCoy guessed.

"Doctor, in all of your illogic, you are essentially correct."

Frustrated, Kirk raised his voice, "Could I please know what is going on?"

"Lieutenant Montgomery is an empathy."

Both captain and doctor stared at Spock, shocked.  McCoy found his voice first and unleashed it.  "An empathy?" he asked incredulously, "like Gem?"

"No, doctor, not like Gem, anymore than I am a telepath like the Talosians."

"I am extremely interested in your discovery about Lexxi," Kirk interrupted, "but I'm more concerned about you being here."

"That is unimportant, Captain.  I assure you, I am fine," Spock replied.

McCoy opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it.

Spock continues, "After you left my quarters, Captain, I set to work on the problem you gave me to solve."  The Vulcan's posture remained stiff, his face more or less blank, but subtle changes in his eyes showed only the keenest observer or closest friend shades of disquiet and unease.  "Lieutenant Montgomery has, willingly or unwillingly, I cannot be sure, found a path to my mind.  My speculation is that this happened during my meld with her, and I was unaware of it."  Spock shifted slightly.  "I recently witnessed a barrage of painful memories and became disoriented."

"And fell," McCoy added, aware that Spock disliked admitting to weakness.  Spock didn't answer.  "That's a nasty gash, let me fix it."

As the doctor busied himself with repairs, Kirk gazed at his troubled friend, his eyes full of sympathy for what he could not know.  "I suppose you would like to confront Lexxi about this problem."

Spock came close to sighing.  "I would not call it a problem.  Perhaps an inconvenience.  Yes, it would be ideally beneficial to discuss this situation with Lieutenant Montgomery."

"I don't think we should wake her up."

"Understandable."

Kirk did sigh.  "Okay, now you can exclaim."

Spock began, "Gem was an empath in that she could transfer pain and injury to herself and heal it."

"Right."

"Lieutenant Montgomery is an empath in that she is able to send and receive emotions."

"Emotions?" McCoy interjected.  "Did I hear that right?"

"Indeed, Doctor," Spock replied.  "Captain, if you would talk to her about this."

"Me?" Kirk asked, a twinkle in his eyes, "Why, it's your problem, Mr. Spock."

"My first discussion with Lieutenant Montgomery was…unpleasant."

"Unpleasant?"

"Yes, Captain.  You have much better talents in dealing with females."

"Me?" Kirk asked again, grinning openly.  He looked to McCoy, who scowled as he began to put instruments away.  "All right, Spock, I'll try to bring it up during shore leave."

"Very well," Spock replied.

"Shore leave?" McCoy faced the pair.  "You still intend to take her down, Jim?"

"I do, Doctor, unless you have any objections."

"I guess not, just wait until tomorrow.  She still needs a good night's sleep."

Kirk turned to Spock.  "Are you sure you can wait until tomorrow?  I don't want this…" he gestured to the now barely visible wound "…to happen again."

"I shall manage."  Spock answered.

"You'll manage


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

McCoy awoke with a start as several alarms in the other room began to sound loudly.  He rushed from his office to find the girl awake and sitting up in bed.  Amidst the clamor she sat, clam and still, eyes closed, muscles taut, jaw set, even as the readings on the monitor above her head went haywire.  She opened her eyes as he approached, staring at him.  The alarms, quickly as they had started up, fell silent.

"What the hell were you doing?" the doctor asked, excited.

Lexxi cocked her head to the left, looking for all the world like a particular Vulcan.  "What the hell were you doing, doctor?" she countered, as if there were nothing out of the ordinary.

Flustered, McCoy replied, "I was catching up on the sleep I lost running around at all hours of the night until all hell broke loose!"  He frowned at her.  "That's irrelevant!" he exploded, "I'm not the one setting off alarms!'

"Alarms?"

"You didn't hear them?"  McCoy was incredulous.

"My mind must have been elsewhere."

"What?"

"I was making adjustments.  That…whatever you gave me…sure put me out of whack."

"Out of whack?  It was just a sedative."

"Yes, well…"Lexxi frowned slightly, falling silent.  It was quiet for several minutes. 

 "Can I ask you something?"

Lexxi smiled slightly.  "That depends, doctor, on what you intend to ask."

McCoy sighed.  "That song you sang earlier.  It was pretty catchy."

"That is a statement, not a question."

"Stop that!" McCoy exclaimed, "You're beginning to sound like an overgrown elf I know!"  He sighed and began again.  "That song really seemed to fit the situation, you know?  How did you do that?"

"Very carefully."

"I should have guessed."

Lexxi also sighed, and then scowled.  "It's actually easily explained.  Music is my life, Doctor.  It's been an integral part of me since before I can remember, there is always a song to fit the situation.  Two songs came to my mind as I awoke that time."

"Two songs about a mind meld?"

"No.  They aren't about mind melds.  Just those few lines, isolated and put in the situation…then they fit.  May I?"

McCoy looked to where Lexxi was gesturing.  A computer.  After a brief conversation with the flat, metallic voice, Lexxi glanced at McCoy.

"Listen," she urged.

Soft guitar music was followed by the familiar words:

_Hello darkness, my old friend   
I've come to talk with you again   
Because a vision softly creeping   
Left its seeds while I was sleeping   
And the vision that was planted in my brain   
Still remains   
Within the sound of silence   
In restless dreams I walked alone   
Narrow streets of cobblestone   
'Neath the halo of a street lamp   
I turned my collar to the cold and damp   
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light   
That split the night   
And touched the sound of silence   
And in the naked light I saw   
Ten thousand people, maybe more   
People talking without speaking   
People hearing without listening   
People writing songs that voices never share   
And no one dared   
Disturb the sound of silence   
"Fools", said I, "You do not know   
Silence like a cancer grows   
Hear my words that I might teach you   
Take my arms that I might reach you"   
But my words, like silent raindrops fell   
And echoed   
In the wells of silence   
And the people bowed and prayed   
To the neon god they made   
And the sign flashed out its warning   
In the words that it was forming   
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls   
And tenement halls"   
And whispered in the sounds of silence_

"Isn't that something?" McCoy mumbled.

"It changes the meaning when you hear the whole thing.  It's more a view of society, isn't it?"  Lexxi didn't wait for an answer.  "The concept works for people, too.  Seeing the whole picture may change things entirely."

McCoy couldn't help but feel that this was a revelation.  "Why won't you let us see the whole picture of you?"  He was almost whispering.

Lexxi was.  "The pattern of my life, and the puzzle that is me…" Silence.

McCoy frowned.  The puzzle that is me.  And this was just a piece.  "What about the other song?" he asked.  Lexxi turned back to the console.  "Computer, record current file to disk.  New file.  Flowers Never Bend With the Rainfall.  Play."
    
    _Through the corridors of sleep_
    
    _Past the shadows dark and deep_
    
    _My mind dances and leaps in confusion._
    
    _I don't know what is real,_
    
    _I can't touch what I feel_

_And I hide behind the shield of my illusion_

As he listened, McCoy realized that these were the same people.  And he thought about what ruled his life.
    
    _The mirror on my wall_
    
    _Casts an image dark and small_

_But I'm not sure at all it's my reflection_

It wasn't music, it was an uneasy thought.
    
    _So I'll continue to continue to pretend_
    
    _My life will never end,_
    
    _And flowers never bend_

_With the rainfall_

The music faded and Lexxi commanded the computer to record this selection also.  She sighed and scowled.  McCoy almost chuckled at the sight.  Lexxi scowled in mock anger.  "It's very frustrating," Lexxi began again, "to find myself here every time I open my eyes."

"If you'd fall asleep normally…" McCoy countered and then stopped.  "You sure are perky this morning.  After what…"

"Don't," Lexxi suddenly became ominous, "remind me."

"But…"

"Please, doctor, I must make my adjustments."

"Fine.  I'll disconnect the alarms."  After doing so, the doctor turned and went back to his office.

"My locks are weak," Lexxi explained softly to McCoy's retreating back, "and they threaten to overcome."


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

Are you all right, Mr. Spock?"  Kirk came up behind the Vulcan and leaned in close so that he would not be overheard.

"Yes, Captain, I am fine," Spock replied, much in the same manner.

"Captain," Sulu's voice broke into the conversation, "we are approaching Starbase 28, sir."

"Standard docking procedures, Mr. Sulu," Kirk replied, straightening and stepping away form the science station, "Notify me of their completion."  He headed for the turbolift.  "Mr. Spock, please join me."

The first officer obediently rose and followed his captain off the bridge.  They walked through the corridor in an easy silence accomplished by their profound friendship.  It wasn't until after they arrived at Kirk's quarters, entered, and sat down that either of them spoke.

"I have a theory," Kirk began, "and I want you to help me to prove or disprove it."

"Very well," Spock replied, "Perhaps it would be helpful for me to know your theory."

"No no no no no.  Just answer my question."

"That is illogical."

"I know."  Kirk smiled at the amusement in Spock's eyes.  "About what time last night did that incident take place?"

"Approximately 03:17."

"Approximately."

"Yes, Captain, I was preoccupied."

"All right, what happened leading up to it?"

"I believe I have already…"

"Details, Mr. Spock."

There was a slight pause.

"I was considering the problem you set before me when I…" Spock's voice trailed off and he began again, "As though a dam had burst, floods of memories and images that were not my own flowed through my mind.  I became disoriented."

"And fell."

"That is irrelevant, Captain.  There is nothing more to tell."

Kirk smiled again.  "What, exactly did you see?"

"I do not see why you find this amusing."

"Sorry."  The smile disappeared.  "What did you see?"

"It is appalling enough, Captain, that I invaded the privacy of Lieutenant Montgomery's mind…"

"It saved her life…"

"To divulge what I found there would add to the crimes committed."

"Crimes committed?"  Kirk sat forward in his seat, incredulous.  "If my theory is correct, I already have an idea of what you're going to say."

The Vulcan sat straighter and lowered his voice.  "Perhaps now you will tell me your theory."

Kirk frowned.

Spock continued, "If you were to tell me what Lieutenant Montgomery openly told you, it would be better than if I were to tell you what I took from her mind without permission.  Especially if your theory is incorrect and the information is different."

"Flawless as always, Mr. Spock," Kirk sighed.  "She didn't even say anything that made sense, but here goes.  We found Lexxi in her quarters.  Besides threatening me with a knife, which soon ended after the lights went up, she seemed fine.  She even cracked a joke or two."

Spock briefly wondered where Lieutenant Montgomery found a knife a Kirk went on.

"But as soon as she was left with McCoy, something snapped, and she turned the knife on herself, pleading with some unknown person to first let her go and not touch her and then to kill her.  It was as if some primal urge to kill herself had triggered old memories standing there, stripped bare of all defenses…"  Kirk did not vocalize his next thoughts, in all her tortured beauty.

"At what time did this take place?" Spock took charge of the conversation, breaking Kirk's daze.

"Huh?  Oh, I don't know," Kirk replied, "3:15, 3:20?"

"Then it seems your theory, which you have yet to tell me, is quite correct."  Spock sat back a little as though satisfied.

Kirk sat forward a little more, as if to compensate for the larger area between them, placing clasped hands on the desk.  "I believe that you saw what she saw, and only because she was so out of control.

"That is logical," Spock commented.

Kirk threw himself back into his chair, exasperated.  "I'm glad you think so!" he exclaimed.

The conversation was interrupted by Sulu.  "Docking procedures complete, sir."

"Good," Kirk replied, standing.  As Spock silently mirrored the action, the captain ordered, "Begin sending down parties for shore leave."


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

Lexxi gasped, but quickly choked it down.  She settled down to wait for McCoy's inevitable entrance.  When it came to his patients, the good doctor could have almost Vulcan hearing.

"What's wrong?" McCoy asked, bursting into the room, his eyes instinctively finding the monitor, his face creased with concern.

"Nightmare," Lexxi replied, sighing wearily.  "It was nothing.

McCoy's face relaxed and his eyes flooded with sympathy.  He could only imagine the horrible images stored in that pretty head.

Lexxi looked away.  She couldn't stand the pity.

"You're getting restless," McCoy observed, "I'm going to release you."

"To sleep?" Lexxi asked.

"If that's what you want," the doctor replied.  "The captain put you in the shore leave party for tomorrow."

"Am I confined to quarters?"

"I don't know, are you a bad girl?"

Lexxi frowned and didn't answer.

"No, you're not," McCoy admonished quickly, "but I want to you take it easy."

"Do you think I could see the ship?  I've never seen a Constitution class starship."

"Never seen…well you will today.  Let's see if Scotty's gone on leave yet.  He'll be happy as a donkey in a circus to show off his engines."

McCoy went to his office and soon a voice could be heard exclaiming, "Ach, so she wants ta see the ship?  The lass has taste.  Send her down!"  Coming back, McCoy was grinning.

"Is that how a donkey reacts to clowns, Doctor?" Lexxi teased.

"Sure is!" McCoy replied, stretching his grin.  He suddenly became serious.  "I don't want you wearing a uniform yet.  Keep to the open back shirts.  When you reopened your burns, they didn't heal as well.  I don't was to regenerate anything yet."  He paused, thinking.  "Do you think you could…"

"No."  The answer was short.

"So I don't want to try regeneration on you until I can be sure your physiology won't reject it."

"It rejects everything else."

"Exactly." McCoy stopped again, studying his patient.

Lexxi studied the doctor.  "Could I have a pair of pants?"

"Pants?"

"Or a long skirt.  I don't really care."

"Why?  Your legs are gorgeous."  He waited for her to look down and make sure.  Her eyes remained steady on his.

"I'm sure you and a majority of the male population on this ship would love to have my legs on display, Doctor, but I'd prefer not to have half my ass hanging out as well."

"I see," the doctor chuckled.  "You state your case well.  You sure don't act like the diplomats I've known."  McCoy thought about all the vain, high and mighty ambassadors the Enterprise had hauled around and their god-awful practice of prolonging everything.

"I like to keep things simple and precise," Lexxi retorted.

"And short," McCoy added.

"Yes, well…"

"I thought patience was a common trait among you people."

"To much patience, Doctor, can kill."

There was an awkward silence.  At least on McCoy's part.  He shifted under Lexxi's hard gaze and noted that such situations happened often with her.  Thankfully, Scotty's happy brogue broke through the tension.

"We're ready for the lass, Doctor, if ye'll just send her down."

"Thanks, Scotty, will do," McCoy replied.  "Christine!" he called and Nurse Chapel appeared, ready and willing for anything.  "Get Lieutenant Montgomery a fresh shirt and a pair of slacks."

"Yes, Doctor," Chapel replied and hurried to complete her task.  She returned and McCoy watched as Lexxi ditched the miniskirt of the pair of pants, marveling at her lack of modesty.  She struggled with the shirt and he subconsciously stepped up to help, gently tying the strings loosely crisscrossing her back.  Something he was a time ago popped into his head.  "I'm a doctor.  When I peek, it's in the line of duty."  A smile played across his lips.  He'd been flirting with a yeoman.  Where'd that gone?  Nowhere.  Precisely where Jim was going with this one.  Still…

"There," McCoy stated and took a step back as she turned to face him.  "I suppose you're now officially released."

"Thank you, Doctor," Lexxi replied, heading to the door.  "As always, it's been fun."


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

"Wow," Lexxi breathed, "the controls for the lights on the entire ship are all on this one panel?" *AN: I don't know if that's true or not.*

"Aye," Scotty replied, smiling at the girl's awe, "except, of course, for individual quarters.  Ye have seen the heart, now how about the brain?"

"The brain?"

"Aye, the bridge."

"All right, lead the way."  Lexxi followed the beaming Scotsman through the outer doors of engineering and a maze of corridors.  As they neared the turbolift, the door slid open to reveal Mr. Spock, in all his austere solemnity.

"I shall finish the tour from this point, Mr. Scott," the Vulcan stated.

"Aye, Mr. Spock," Scotty replied, "If the lass doesna mind."

Startled, Lexxi looked from one man to the other.  "Of course not.  Thank you, Mr. Scott.  I believe that was the most fun I've had in weeks."

Scotty grinned before turning to leave.  "Thank ye, my dear."  And Lexxi was left alone with Spock.

"Are we still visiting the bridge?" she asked.

"If you wish."

"I do."

Spock studied Lieutenant Montgomery.  "I do not believe you have been entirely honest."

"What?"  Lexxi froze.  What had he discovered about her?  Her precious web of deception began to shatter before her imaginative eyes.

"The Aldrin was a Constitution class starship.  You told the doctor you had never seen one."

It was all Lexxi could do to suppress a sigh of relief.  "I meant extensively, Mr. Spock.  All I saw of the Aldrin was my cabin, the transporter room, and the turbolift between."

"I see."  Spock began to walk and Lexxi strove to match his long stride.  She drew a deep breath.

"I'm willing to speculate that you have formulated more questions for me."

"Indeed.  Your speculation is correct."

"And…"

"Are you aware that we were in telepathic contact earlier?"  Spock had initially asked the captain to alert Lieutenant Montgomery of this situation, but had since then thought better of it—something, he had to admit, he rarely did.

Lexxi smiled a little.  "Yes, I am aware that you used a mind meld to convince me to live after the explosion on…" her voice trailed off as he frowned.

"I am relieved that you are aware of that.  However, that is not what I was talking about."

Lexxi's mind raced and recoiled as she remembered.  "No."

"I believe you have psionic abilities you are unaware of."

Lexxi recovered control and found her voice.  "You seem to believe a number of things, Mr. Spock.  I may be a psychopath, but I'm not a telepath."

"Lieutenant," Spock replied, eyebrows raised, "a psychopath is defined as a person having a character disorder distinguished by amoral or antisocial behavior.  I do not believe this describes you."

"Yeah?  Well, I was a serial killer in a previous life."

"Fascinating.  Are you referring to reincarnation?"

"No.  I was kidding."

"Very well."  Spock had no patience for humor.  "When we talked in sickbay, you addressed my thoughts before I expressed them"

"I did not read your mind."  Lexxi's trace smile returned.  "It was the logical thing for you to be thinking about with your emotions taken into account.  I know that even Vulcan's radiate emotions, Mr. Spock.  They are simply more tightly controlled."

"You have an acute sense of emotion."

"Precisely.  I've always been told I was a very perceptive person when really, me seeing that you are slightly puzzled and rather awed is like you seeing that I have curly hair.  Given the situation we are in, all I have to do is guess that you are feeling this about your newfound knowledge of me."

Spock studied Lexxi a moment before replying, "Quite correct, Lieutenant.  Am I to conclude," he asked, "that you are able to radiate your emotions as definitely as you read others?"

"If you wish."

"Would you explain then why I was experiencing your memories and emotions at the time you were attempting to take your life?"

"If you wish."

"I do."

Lexxi sighed.  "You received my emotions and they replayed what you had learned about me in the meld."

"I had guessed that much."  The Vulcan didn't add what was in his eyes.  Why me?

"I don't know why it was you.  According to my experiences, no one should have picked them up.  Unless you're not as emotionally deaf as humans are.  I can only guess.  It may be your hybrid heritage."

Spock remained silent.

"I can understand your irritation, Mr. Spock."  Lexxi sighed again.  "The first Vulcan to enter Starfleet has always been of interest to me.  Who you are and the miracle of your existence are no secrets."

She turned away and gestured forward.  "The bridge?"

"You are able to radiate your emotions."

"I promise, Mr. Spock, it will not happen again."


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

Kirk's door buzzed.  "Come," he said.

"What are you doing still up?" McCoy asked in an accusing tone as he marched into Kirk's quarters.

"What are you doing still up, Doctor?" Kirk asked in reply, not taking his eyes from his computer screen.

McCoy rolled his eyes to the ceiling and mumbled, "Why must everyone mock me?"  He glared at Kirk.  "I'm making sure my patients sleep!"

Kirk chuckled and turned to face the doctor, who'd perched himself on the corner of Kirk's desk.  "Don't worry, Bones, I'm almost done."

"Doing what?" McCoy stood and walked around the desk to join Kirk in looking at the screen.

"Planning shore leave."

McCoy scanned the words.  "With rolling stones?" he asked incredulously.  "I'm not putting you back to together again, Jim, I'm having enough trouble with…"

"No," Kirk answered, chuckling again.  Nothing like the good doctor's ignorant assumptions to put him in a good mood.  "I don't believe there'll be any Rolling Stones.  I just ruled them out."

"What instead?"  McCoy was suspicious.

Kirk barely hid a smirk.  "Beatles."

"Beetles?!? Jim, what…"

"No, come to think of it, no Beatles, either.  Bones, help me think…"

"Of what?  Do you have monkeys?"  McCoy's words dripped with sarcasm.

Kirk was out right laughing.  "No Monkees, Bones, this is serious."

"You're laughing!!!" McCoy shouted, frustrated.

"Because you have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Finally, something we can agree on!"

Kirk stifled his laughing and grew serious.  "I'm looking for a song.  The Rolling Stones were a band on the mid to late twentieth century."

"Beetles?"

"Yes, Beatles.  Monkees too."

"Why the twentieth century/"

"Spock said that Lieutenant Montgomery had a preoccupation with music of that era.":

"Spock said…why, Jim!  Is our Vulcan stooping to gossip?"

Kirk shook his head.  "It was of his evidence…"  
"What evidence?"

"For his conclusion…"

"What conclusion?"

"That Lieutenant Montgomery was suicidal."

McCoy shook his head.  "How is her preference in music evidence for…that?"  He couldn't bring himself to say it.  In his career, he'd seen people die in agony of things too terrible to remember.  It was hard for him to accept that someone would purposely do such to themselves for any reason.  Kirk was speaking again.

"Spock found a song in Lexxi's head when he melded with her.  It was called, 'I Am A Rock' by…"

"Simon and Garfunkel."

"Yes, how did you know?"

McCoy sighed.  "I heard two songs by them.  Lexxi's doing."

"You mean, 'Hello, darkness…"  
"Exactly.  'The Sound Of Silence.'  And 'Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall.'"

"'Flowers Never Bend…'  Such strange titles."

"I know.  Hey, I don't know what this song is for, but if it has anything to do with our mysterious Lieutenant Montgomery, try these people."

"Thank, Bones."

"And get some sleep!" McCoy called over his shoulder as he left.


	30. Chapter Thirty

"Good morning, Lieutenant."  The voice was like wedding bells, the face so cheerful, and the eyes so bright.  There was beauty, young and sweet.  "Are you lost/'

Lexxi studies the African woman who'd approached her as she entered the transporter room.  "Yes, she smiled back, forcing a slight blush, "just a little.  I was told to report here now, but I don't know what to do."

"Why don't you come with Christine and I on shore leave?'  Lt. Uhura couldn't hide the mischievous glint in her soft brown eyes, and Lexxi could sense a plan being put into action.  She decided to go along with their manipulation.

"And what will we be doing today?" Lexxi asked, including herself in the generaliztion to make her compliance known.

"Shopping!" came the joyful answer.

"This doesn't happen often?"

"No, it doesn't," Uhura agreed.

Nurse Chapel entered the transporter room smiling.  Uhura addressed her.  "Hi, Chris.  Lieutenant Montgomery is going to come shopping with us."

Lexxi spoke up.  "Please call me Lexxi."

"Lexxi," Chapel almost breathed, "is that short for something?"

Lexxi nodded.  "Alexia."

"Such a pretty name."

"Thank you."

Uhura stepped up onto the platform, motioning gracefully.  "Shall we go, girls?"

Lexxi followed the other two around the store, in and out of aisles, between racks, smiling passively and making observations.  For example, even with all of the technological advances made, there were still consumers who preferred to tough, feel, and try on before they bought.  And even with Lt. Uhura and Nurse Chapel, who were doomed to wear uniform miniskirts everyday, fashion had enormous pull.  She was about to analyze each of her companions' choice in clothing when she heard her name and had to stop abruptly before running into Uhura.

"You need a dress," Uhura stated.

"A dress?"  Lexxi was startled.

"Yes, for the dinner tonight."

"Dinner?"

"Dance, party, celebration, reception.  Whatever you'd like to call it.  It's formal."

"Formal?  Why…"

"The commodore is throwing a party to welcome you back to civilization."

"Me?"  Lexxi's heart sank as she watched Uhura's grin widen.  Too much attention.

"Yes," Uhura replied, "and you need a dress."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The place was eerily quiet.  In fact, except for the constant whir of pumping water, the large room was silent.  There was one figure gliding gracefully through the water.

Kirk stood in the doorway to the aquatic center of the Starbase and watched the easy motions of Lieutenant Montgomery as she swam down the lane, flipped off of the wall, and swam back.  He smiled, drinking in the peace as he walked over to stand just inches above her head as she once more flipped, pushed off the wall, and glided away from him, not breaking the surface until she was halfway across the pool.  He contemplated how to stop her without upsetting her.  Taking off his boots and sock and rolling up his pants, he dipped his feet into the surprisingly warm water.  His contemplation did not last long as he momentarily felt a gentle tickle on the bottoms of his feet and saw Lexxi's dark head emerge from the water, a smile gracing her lips.

"Are you following me?" she asked teasingly.

"Yes." Kirk answered, drawing his feet from her touch.

Lexxi pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the pool right beside Kirk, splashing him in the process.

"Watch it!" he exclaimed playfully, wiping uselessly at the spots on his gold tunic.

"What am I hearing about a party?" Lexxi asked, suddenly becoming serious.

"Party?  What party?" Kirk asked in reply, a twinkle in his eye.  "I guess I wasn't invited."

"The commodore…"

"Where'd you learn to swim like that?"

Lexxi sighed.  She knew the game he was playing all too well.  "I was on the swim team in high school."

"High school.  And how long ago was that?" Kirk asked, trying to get some insight on Lexxi's age.

"Too long."  Lexxi replied.  "How'd you know I was here?"

"You're abandoned friends told me where to find you."

"Abandoned friends…that was a set up, wasn't it?"

"Where'd you go to school?"

"All over the place.  Do you swim?"  Two can play his game.

Kirk was caught off guard as Lexxi stared up at him earnestly.  "Yes, well, never competition.  I'm afraid my swimming has been limited to creeks and watering holes."

Lexxi smiled.  "How…quaint."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"Lexxi.  Swim with me?"

Again, Kirk was startled.  If anything, he was expecting her to follow him.  "What?"

"Get a suit.  Swim with me."  Lexxi couldn't believe she was begging this human to stay with her.  After… "Please?"

"All right."  Kirk stood.  He left and returned, in his own suit, to find Lexxi also standing, dripping wet, in a puddle of water.  Her suit was blood red with bold flame licking diagonally across her torso and abdomen.  The skintight material accentuated her slim figure.  She turned to lead him away and Kirk could see the crisscrossed straps of her suit cut into the burn on her back.  The water and chemicals weren't doing it any good.  He'd have hell to pay with the good doctor when they got back.

Lexxi led the captain around the pool to the deep end where a diving block was set up at the beginning of each lane.  She turned and spoke to him.  "Let's race.  Do you know how to start?"

Kirk grinned.  "Show me."  He watched as Lexxi stepped up onto the square platform and planted her feet, one in front of the other.  She motioned for him to come closer.

"You can dive with both feet forward or one foot back," she stated.

"You have one back?" he asked her.

"Yes, Captain."

"Okay, then."  Kirk put his attention back on her feet, studying the details of her stance.

"You have to have your toes slightly over the edge.  When told to take your mark, you bend over and grip the edge."

"And then you dive."

"Well, yes.  The most common way to…"

Kirk interrupted her.  "How do you do it?"

Lexxi couldn't help blushing.  "I…"

"Show me."

Sighing, Lexxi bent over.  "I lean back like this and push off to dive, while you can also lean…"

"I got it."  Kirk again cut her off, flashing a killer smile loaded with legendary charm and a touch of ego.  "Let's do this."  He too climbed onto a platform and planted his feet one in front of the other.

"Captain, I must inform you that the pool in only five and a half feet deep," Lexxi warned.

"Jim, Lexxi, call me Jim."  Kirk gave her the look of patient suffering that always seemed to work for Spock when pleading logic.  "Are we ready?"

"Can you turn, or shall we only do a twenty-five?"

"I'll manage."

"Down and back then?"

"Sure."

"Okay…take your mark."  At Lexxi's words, both figures snapped down and leaned back.  "Go!"  Kirk leapt from the block and dove cleanly into the water.  Ten seconds later, Lexxi followed, her splash nothing compared to his.

On his way back, almost smiling to himself and expecting Lexxi to be way ahead of him, Kirk crossed under the rope and into her lane with a burst of speed to catch up with her.  His hands reached for her ankles, but brushed her hands, and before either of them registered what was happening, their heads collided.


	31. Chapter Thirty One

"Federation vessel approaching, sir."

Spock watched as the image on the viewscreen changed to a picture of the U.S.S. Corwin.  "Speed?"

"Warp six, sir?"

"ETA?"

"Five hours, twenty-eight minutes."

"Mr. Spock," the replacement communications officer meekly addressed the Vulcan sitting in the captain's place.  "We are being hailed."

"On screen."  The haggard face of Admiral Connell appeared before Spock, who studies it, noting the weary eyes and lines from worry.  "We were not expecting you, Admiral."

"Where is Kirk?"  Connell was nearly growling.

"The captain is currently unavailable."

"Where is he?"

"The captain is at Starbase 28.  We will inform you when he returns, if you wish."

"I do not wish," Admiral Connell replied.  He was past growling and close to lashing out.  "I'm going to talk with Kirk when I arrive, Mr. Spock.  Face to face!"  The screen went blank as the doctor exited the turbolift.

Spock looked up at McCoy, who stood at his right elbow.  "The captain has grown fond of Lieutenant Montgomery," he stated bluntly.

Startled, McCoy looked down at Spock, who'd returned his eyes to the viewscreen.  "I suppose you could say that."

Spock almost sighed.  "Jim' habit of falling in love with women who are not his may one day be his undoing."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alive, but slightly disoriented, Kirk found the bottom of the pool with his feet and stood, looking around.  Lexxi had not yet come up.  In fact, he could not see any evidence that she had gone under.  Panicking, he spun around and called her name.  Suddenly, he felt a hard grip on his ankles, and before he could even shout, he was once again immersed in the water, flailing most ungracefully.  Laughter echoes in his ears as he once more stood, sputtering, his nose full of water and burning.

"Lexxi slowly stood beside Kirk, still laughing.  "Thought you could trick me, didn't you?"

"I didn't think I was swimming that fast."

"You weren't, I gave you a head start."

Startled, Kirk asked, "Why?"

"Dignity, always dignity."

"You were going to let me win?"

"You ruined it."

"It's a good thing I did," Kirk pouted.  "I don't like being babied."

"You weren't being babied.  I didn't pick you up and carry you across the pool."  Lexxi proceeded to look indignant.

"No, I suppose not."  Kirk paused and then planted his fists on his hips, stating, "I'm hungry.  And you're too skinny.  Let's eat."

"Thank you."

"What?"

"Oh…charm, subtleness, and the "direct hit" method didn't work?  Now we've moved on to silliness?"

"Silliness?" Kirk asked.  "Why, Lieutenant Montgomery!  I must say I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Really?  Well, just don't try too hard, Captain."

"Don't try too hard?"  Kirk scooped Lexxi off her feet, sending water everywhere, and began to take giant steps toward the side of the pool.  "I'm not giving up on you yet!"  He set her down on gently to sit on the edge and jumped out of the water, grabbing her hands and puller her to her feet.  "Get dressed, I'm taking you to dinner."

"Is that an order, Captain, sir?"

"Yes, Lexxi, dear."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"What about the party?"

"Party?"  Kirk looked briefly confused.  "Oh!  Don't worry about the party."

"Lexxi didn't exactly know what that meant, but as she headed to the dressing room, she began to get suspicious.

Minutes later, as she emerged once more dressed in her black slacks and a burgundy, silky, backless tank, as per doctor's orders, she was convinced she was somehow trapped like a fly in a spider's web, the victim of a twisted scheme mastered by the legendary Captain Kirk.  Paranoia was becoming a bad habit.  She told herself so and sighed.

Several minutes after that, Kirk came out in his uniform.  Lexxi laughed.  "It took you longer than it took me."  Kirk smiled.  "Oh, you're dry!  No wonder!"  Kirk ran a hand through his hair and them reached out and tugged gently on one of Lexxi's limp curls, laughing as he watched it spring back into place.\

"And you're not!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Captain, sir.  Is this a formal dinner?"

"Quite.  We're waiting for your abandoned friends."

"I see now!" Lexxi exclaimed, "There was no party."

"Nope."

"It was a trick!"

"Yep."

"You're sneaky."

Kirk grinned his half grin.

Lexxi smiled.  She couldn't ever remember smiling so much in one day.  "All to get me to wear a dress."

"McCoy told me about your tirade against our uniforms."

"Tirade?"  Lexxi laughed.  Kirk love to hear her laugh, loved to make her laugh.  "I hardly call that a tirade."  They began to walk around the pool.

"He also told me about his song."

"His…song?"

"Yeah, the one you sang for him."

"Oh."  Lexxi looked down at her bare feet.

"Rumor has it Mr. Spock got one too."

"Rumor…what?"  Lexxi shook her head.  "That was his own fault.  Can I help it if I had a song in my head when he decided to barge in?"

Kirk chuckled, then, "So where's mine?"

Lexxi looked up and into the captain's earnest eyes.  "Your song?"

"Yeah."

"All right."  Lexxi stopped walking and stood facing Kirk with her back to the water.  "Listen carefully."  And in her soft but steady alto, she began to sing.

_"Oh well I'm the type of guy who will never settle down_

_Where pretty girls are well, you know that I'm around_

_I kiss 'em and I love 'em cause to me their all the same_

_I hug 'em and I squeeze 'em they don't even know my name_

_They call me the wanderer, yeah the wanderer_

_I roam around around around…_

A hard, strong force struck Lexxi across the face and she stumbled backward, right off the edge of the pool and into the water.

All of Kirk's anger dissipated with the splash that rang in his ears.  Fear choked him as he realized what he had done.  "Oh god…Lexxi!"  Just as he thought to jump in after her, she came up and began to climb out.  Kirk grabbed her trembling shoulders and hauled her to her feet, holding her shaking body close.  "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."  He kissed her dripping cheeks and tasted the salt of her tears.  He held her at arms length and gazed into her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, "I understand."  Straightening, Lexxi pulled from Kirk's grip.  "I understand, Captain.  The loneliness.  The wondering…not knowing…is there really someone for me?"  She smiled and sniffed.  "I know, Captain, I understand."

Breathing heavily, Kirk smiled.  He put an arm around Lexxi and they continued walking.  "I know too," he whispered, "and there is.  The trick is finding them."

"Captain!"  Both Kirk and Lexxi spun to see Lt. Uhura and Nurse Chapel enter the aquatic center.  Approaching the pair, the communications officer giggled.  "Why Captain, I didn't know you swam!"

Kirk grinned.  "I do now."

Chapel surveyed Lexxi as Kirk took his arm from around her shoulders.  "Dear, you're all wet!'

Lexxi glanced down at her soaked clothes.  "So I am!  Just trying to make a fool of myself."  She paused.  "Wait!  I accomplished that yesterday.  I guess I nee some new goals."  The group fell silent as Lexxi's crude reference to previous events.

Uhura finally spoke.  "Shall we get going?  We have extra work to do with your hair all wet."

Lexxi stuck out her bottom lip.  "Do I have to?"

"Yes, Lieutenant, that's an order.  I want to see those legs of yours," Kirk answered.

"And much more, I'm sure.  I am sorry, Captain, sir, my dress is floor length."

It was Kirk's turn to pretend to pout.

Lexxi laughed and followed Uhura and Chapel, wondering when was the last time she had had so much fun


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

Just a note:  This is actually finished, but I can't seem to find the time to type it.  I plan on getting it all up eventually though.  This chapter was a little hard figuring out, so if things don't make sense…feel free to complain.

"Is Kirk coming?"  Connell was back to growling.

Spock came very close to sighing, but didn't.  There was already enough exasperation at Admiral Connell on the bridge.  They all knew where the captain was and why the admiral wanted him.  Spock wasn't about to add to the tension.  "It was been approximately 28.57 minutes since your last call, Admiral, and your ship is still 3 hours 19.64 minutes from the Starbase.  I assure you, the captain will be aware of your arrival."

"I certainly hope so."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirk sat at the table he's reserved at the VIP lounge.  He was uneasy about tricking Lexxi into a dress, but the feeling vanished as he watched her step into the dimly lit room.  She paused, and he looked her over.  Her hair was pulled back into tiny French braids ending at the crown and spilling silky black curls over her bars shoulders.  At first, her dress appeared black, but the light caught the satin and it bloomed into a deep midnight blue.  It had a halter top and a slim, floor-length skirt, both studded with rhinestones to resemble a necklace and belt of icicles.  Kirk suddenly didn't care so much about Lexxi's legs, but was delighted when she began walking and a slit to her hip showed itself.  He rose and took her hands.  "Your friends are abandoned again?" he asked.

"Actually," Lexxi replied, pulling away and sitting, "I believe, this time I am the abandoned."  She watched Kirk sit.  "How much are you paying them for this?"

"For what?"

"Spending their leave with me."

Kirk grinned and decided that honesty was the best policy.  He had a hidden conviction that Lexxi could see right through him.  "This isn't their leave.  It starts tomorrow.  They're still on duty."

"I see.  You had to…"

"No, they volunteered."

"I see."

They ordered and settled down to eat.

Kirk swallowed a bit of steak and said, "Tell me about yourself."

Lexxi also swallowed.  "Like what?"

"Like…what makes you different?"  That sounded painfully childish to Kirk.

"Are you trying to find out what you're getting into?"

Kirk almost blushed, feeling like a schoolboy on his first date.  "I mean…like, Mr. Spock has better hearing than humans and a heightened sense of smell."

"Smell?"

"Yeah, I almost feel sorry for him."

"Fascinating."

"What?"

"Dr. McCoy judges Mr. Spock by the standards of the human race.  You judge every other race in the universe by the standards of Mr. Spock."

"That's quite an observation."

"Observation of behavior is helpful when dealing with the unknown."

"The unknown?  You're awfully young."  Damn.  It slipped.

Lexxi closed up a bit.  "Don't jump to conclusions, Captain."

"Jim, Lexxi, Jim.  If I'm going to call you by your first name, you're going to call me by mine."

"You are a captain, Captain," Lexxi replied coldly, "and no more to me."  Kirk could almost hear the unspoken word…yet.

"And why isn't your rank higher, Lieutenant?"

"You are jumping to conclusions again.  I have not been in Starfleet long."

"Oh?  From the urgency in Admiral Connell's message, I'd have thought we were rescuing Nogura."

Lexxi sighed.  "Let's just say I'm a special interest case."

"A special interest case?"

"Yes."  Lexxi didn't elaborate.  Information was one thing no one could take from her.  Not without her permission.  Permission was one thing not given easily.  Kirk realized this.

"So…you're important?  But I would think they'd find some way to put you up there.  They have a talent for it."

"More assumptions, Captain.  Besides, me an admiral?"

"Why not?"

"Admirals are inescapably doomed to be desk-kissing paper pushers."

Kirk chuckled.  "But isn't that what everyone is looking for…power?"

"Not me, and not you."

Kirk was startled as Lexxi continued, almost passionate in her speech.

"This is your dream, Captain, live it.  You were meant to be here, on the front lines, out among the stars.  Take it for all it's worth and never let go.  When you lose your dreams, you lose everything."

Kirk sat back, silent, and pondered Lexxi's words.  She could see right through him.  She knew.  But instead of fear, there was a feeling of comfort.  Joy that she understood.  Spock had called her an empath, and he had been afraid.  Afraid of what she would know, of how he would impose.  But this wasn't harsh, wasn't deep.  It was soft and gentle and…Kirk looked into Lexxi's eyes and found a fathomless emptiness.  Nothing.  His heart sank as she spoke again.

"I joined Starfleet to see the stars…to be free."

Then it's not fair, Kirk thought, you're not free.  You're…chained.  Chained to…Admiral Connell.  Why?

Kirk began to say something, but Lexxi cut him off.  "My hearing is actually less than human norm.  Smaller range of frequencies.  I…" she chuckled, "I have better taste."

"Better taste.  In clothes?"

"No, no, no.  Here, you have a rough tongue, whereas my taste buds are so small and sensitive that my tongues appears smooth.  They cove the inside of my mouth and all down my throat.  And I…"

Kirk couldn't help but smile.  "You what?"

Lexxi lowered her eyes and sighed.  "I've been blessed with a heightened sense of reality."


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

"You summoned me, Doctor?"  Spock stood just inside the door to McCoy's office.

"Yeah, come on in."  McCoy looked up at the Vulcan now standing in front of him.  He motioned for Spock to sit.  "What were you talking about?"

Spock looked at him blankly.  "When?"

"On the bridge a while ago.  What do you think Connell is up to?"

"I am not experienced in judging human emotions.  However, it seemed to me that Admiral Connell is a very jealous man."

"Jealous?  What about?  I thought he was mad about the mission.  That we didn't return Lexxi to earth like he asked."

"In a way, yes."

McCoy frowned and leaned toward Spock.  "What are you thinking?"

"It is only a theory."

"Spock, you're theories are usually better than most people's absolutes.  I'm willing to take a leap of faith."

"Faith, doctor?"

"Faith, now spill it."

The doctor could see that Spock chose to ignore the figure of speech as the Vulcan began to speak, folding his hands in front of him as he often did before a monologue.  "In the time since Lieutenant Montgomery's attempted suicide, I reviewed her personal files again.  I understand you also did so."

"Yeah, there was nothing there.  The bare minimum."

Spock nodded.  "No history, no biography…and what I had read and shared with the captain at the beginning of the mission is gone."

"Gone?"

"Gone."  Spock didn't elaborate.

"So…"

"Her files have been tampered with."

"Obviously.  Why?"

"I do not have sufficient information as of yet."

"Great!  So what else?"

"Lieutenant Montgomery served as communications officer on a freighter under Captain Andrew Hanson immediately following her graduation from Starfleet Academy in 2252.  She is on the enrollment list for 2250.  However, the records from her stay there have disappeared."

"Strange."

"Returning to Captain Hanson.  Lieutenant Uhura informed me that you contacted him recently"

"I did, to talk about Lexxi.  He said that he thought she didn't belong on a freighter and recommended her for promotion.  Admiral Connell interviewed her and took her away."

"That is not what the records state."

"There are actually records of something?  Amazing.  What do they say?"

"Admiral Connell's records of the event state that she requested a transfer to earth and applied to be his assistant.  They attempted to promote her and she rejected."

"Bullshit!  Andy wouldn't lie!"

"Obviously, Admiral Connell would.  I reviewed the communications logs between Admiral Connell, Captain Hanson, and Lieutenant Montgomery.  It happened as Captain Hanson says."

"You're sure it was Connell?  Lexxi isn't exactly crystal clear either."

"Taking into account the nature of the other changed records, Admiral Connell is a distinct suspect.  Lieutenant Montgomery has no motive to change her own files."

"And Connell does?"

Spock didn't answer.

"You think they're romantically involved, don't you?"

Spock still didn't answer.

McCoy chose to reroute the conversation.  "What's Jim doing down there anyway?"

"The captain did not inform you of his plans?"

"No, he did not inform me of his plans.  Only assured me that there'd be no Stones, Beatles, or Monkees."

One Vulcan eyebrow flew up.  "Stones, beetles and monkeys, doctor?  I would certainly hope not."

Grinning, McCoy reveled in Spock bewilderment.  "What did he tell you?"

"He was spending the evening with Lieutenant Montgomery, would be back in the morning, and was not to be disturbed except in an emergency."

"I still think we would call him.  Connell is one mad admiral, and you never want one of those on your hands."

"I believe Jim needs an uneventful evening of rest."

"With girls, evenings are never uneventful," McCoy muttered.

"I also believe Lieutenant Montgomery will come to no harm from such an experience."

"So now you're practicing psychiatry?  And without a license.  Wait!"  McCoy gasped.  "Was that compassion I hear in your voice?  Oh, I believe I'm gonna have a heart attack!"  The doctor clutched his chest and closed his eyes.

Spock looked down him condescendingly.  "Then I suggest you report to sickbay; I am unable to help you."

The doctor looked up into Spock's hard expression and his smile faded.  He watched as the Vulcan left the room.  "Ouch."

"So, Lieutenant," Kirk spoke as music began playing, "being such as you are…"

Lexxi looked indignant.  "Such as I am, Captain?"

"What is the most amusing situation you've found yourself in?"  Kirk had to admit that it wasn't the best subject he'd come up with, but conversation was difficult with Lexxi.

"You mean, how embarrassed have I been because I'm an alien?  What, more research before you dive in?"

"No.  Simple conversation.  I can tell you several situations I'd have rather not been in."

"All right then, for simple conversation, you first."

"Yeah, you."

"Okay.  Let me think a minute.  I have many to choose from."

"I'm sure.  I'm counting, Captain. Mississippi one…"

Kirk sat back, grinning at Lexxi's spark, and began running through past mission in his mind.  Deneva…Neural…some really weren't all that funny…Charlie…the Iotians…

"Mississippi twenty-seven….Mississippi twenty-eight…"

"Stop, stop," Kirk chuckled, "I've got one.  Trying to explain Mr. Spock to a 1930's police officer.  I think I told him Spock was Chinese and said something about a rice-picking accident and an American missionary whose hobby was plastic surgery."

"A 1930's police officer."  Lexxi looked slightly past Kirk as if remembering something.

Kirk sigh.  "I'm sorry I can't tell you more.  I believe everything concerning that is classified."

Lexxi's eyes came back to his.  "Not for everyone, Captain, not for Admiral Connell."

"Really."

"Yes sir.  I know all about the time planet, the Cordrazine overdose, the Guardian of Forever, Edith Keeler…"  Lexxi stopped as she watched Kirk's face fall.  "You thought you loved her."

"I did love her."  Kirk's voice was laced with agitation.

"Was she the one?"

Kirk looked up and into Lexxi's piercing gaze.  Once more, his anger melted.  She was not taunting or accusing, but…curious.  Like a child asking about heaven.  He smiled and slowly shook his head, watching as her face fell.

"I'm not the one either," Lexxi whispered, her bottom lip trembling almost imperceptibly.

Kirk looked away and took a deep breath.  "Your turn!" he announced.

Lexxi glanced at the ceiling.  It was time for a reality check.  "The time I fell in preschool and skinned my knee.  I had to stay away until my picture left the tabloids.  The fact that I matured several years before my peers.  Having to tell my first date that we were physically incompatible."  Lexxi ignored the stinging in her eyes.

Kirk was speechless.  This wasn't what he wanted.  He reached across the table and covered Lexxi's hand with his.

Lexxi looked down and smiled.  Pulling her hand away, she said, "Alcohol has no affect on my.  In high school, I was the only designated driver who could drink twice as much as everyone else."

"Damn," Kirk grinned, "there goes plan A."

"So what's plan B, Captain?"

Kirk stood and offered his hand.  "Would you like to dance?"

Lexxi cocked her head and strained to hear the soft music she'd failed to notice before.  Suddenly, it grew a little louder and she could hear it perfectly.  At the first notes, she gasped and took a step back, away from Kirk.  "How…?"

"I'm going to speak with Kirk, whether it be on his own terms, or in his own brig.  And if you interfere in any way, Mr. Spock, you will join him!"

"On what charges?"  Spock was perfectly ready to stare Admiral Connell down.

"Insubordination!"  The transmission ended.


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

Author's Note: Sorry this is taking so long to put up. I'm a busy person…not really, just lazy. I hope you like it… have fun!

"Shhh," Kirk closed the space between them. "Just listen." He took his hands and placed them gently on her slim hips, guiding her into a soft, slow sway.

_When you're weary, feeling small_

_When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all_

_I'm on your side, oh, when times get rough_

_And friends just can't be found…_

"You're so beautiful," Kirk murmured as he drew Lexxi closer and buried his face in her silky sweet-smelling curls. He could hear her breath quicken, could feel her tremble under his touch. He held her tight, supporting her, comforting her, radiating his love.

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down_

_Like a bridge over trouble water_

_I will lay me down_

Lexxi relaxed slightly, pressing close to Kirk's strong body and seeking his strength. Love…she could feel…love. Joy brought tears to her eyes, but fear had a tight hold on her heart. Anxiety and apprehension built a wall between them.

_When you're down and out_

_When you're on the street_

_When evening falls so hard, I will comfort you_

_I'll take your part, oh, when darkness comes_

_And pain is all around_

Kirk could sense Lexxi's tension. Her fear, anger, pain, and hate. Just as Spock had said. Strong emotions and high walls. "You're bitter," he said, wishing for all the world he could take her pain away. He didn't know…didn't care what it was, he wanted to take it all away and make it better.

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down_

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will lay me down_

Bitter…the word echoed in Lexxi's mind. Bitter…she pulled away and looked into those amazing, almost golden eyes. Her thoughts racing, she shook her head.

"Why?"

_Sail on silver girl_

"I'm different."

"You're perfect."

_Sail on by_

Tears were falling now. "All my life, I've never been accepted…never been home."

"Where is home?"

_Your time has come to shine_

_All your dreams are on their way_

"I don't…I…" Lexxi's eyes frantically searched Kirk's, looking for the understanding that needed to be there…understanding without pity. "I have this…overwhelming need to…to go…home. It's just that…I …I don't know where home is!" For a split second, she froze, then dropped her head and seemed to wilt right in front of Kirk.

_See how they shine, oh_

Kirk stepped toward Lexxi and enveloped her with his arms. Stroking her hair just behind her ear, he whispered, "This can be your home."

"No…" The word was soft, slow, almost reluctant. "No…"

_If you need a friend_

_I'm sailing right behind…"_

"Why?" Kirk asked, pulling away from her just enough to lift his hand and tilt her chin, gazing into her eyes. They were large and scared and filled with such deep sadness it shook his soul. She opened her mouth to answer and he found that he suddenly didn't care. Overcome with grief at her pain and joy at her tough and several emotions he didn't want to take the time to identify, Kirk wrapped his arms around Lexxi and brought her lips to his. Locked in a passionate embrace, Kirk kissed all of Lexxi's pain away.

_Like a bridge over troubled water_

_I will ease your mind_

_Like a bridge over trouble water_

_I will ease your mind._


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

Lexxi shook almost violently. Kirk drew her closer and brushed a hair from her eyes, his brow furrowed with worry. "Are you cold?" he asked.

"No." Lexxi's voice was a whisper. "Afraid."

"Afraid?"

She nodded. "Of you…of me…of us…tomorrow."

"Tomorrow."

"Yes. In the morning, we'll go back to the ship, and eventually I'll leave. And you'll move on and I'll live our the rest of my God knows how many years alone." She was close to crying again.

"Shh…" Kirk soothed her. Pressed so close together, her tremors racked his body. "You don't have to be alone. We can stay together forever. I'll have you transferred, I…"

"No. The admiral won't…"

"Why?"

Lexxi turned her face away and didn't answer.

"Lexxi?" Kirk reached out and turned her to face him. "Lexxi, what's wrong? Why?"

A big tear rolled down Lexxi's flushed cheek and she buried her face in his chest. Kirk brought his hand down to her head and began to absently stroke her hair.

"Captain…"

"Jim."

"Captain, I've lied to you."

"That doesn't matter now."

"Yes." Lexxi pulled away violently, almost knocking Kirk over. "Yes, it does matter. I…I've lied…and…and…and ignored…and avoided for so long, I…"

"I don't care."

"You should!" Lexxi searched his eyes with hers. "Ask me how old I am."

"Lexxi…"

"Ask me!" She clenched her fists.

"All right…how old are you?"

Lexxi didn't answer right away, and Kirk saw in her eyes that she was fighting herself. It struck him deeply. He'd seen that look in Spock's eyes before. That inside battle, that…

"282." Lexxi took a shaky breath.

"What?" Kirk couldn't believe what he'd heard.

"282," Lexxi repeated, relief written all over her face. "Ask me…ask me why I'm kept at head quarters."

"Yes," a new voice sneered. "Yes, Kirk, ask her." Admiral Connell stepped from the shadows, followed by Spock and two security officers. Spock's eyes almost pleaded for forgiveness. Connell stood inches from Kirk and Lexxi. "And while we're listening to everyone's confessions, why don't you tell us why you deliberately disobeyed me?" He paused. "Better yet, you can tell us as well as Commodore Wells at your court martial hearing on the Enterprise. Guards!"

"Court martial?" The two security officers came forward and reluctantly took custody of their captain. "Spock!"

The Vulcan slowly shook his head as Kirk was led away.

Connell grabbed Lexxi's jaw. "Thought you could slip through my fingers, didn't you?" He grinned. "Not that easy, kiddo, not that easy." He threw her to the floor and walked out.


	36. Chapter Thirty Six

Spock stood, silently watching Admiral Connell's retreating back. He turned his eyes to the young woman left crumpled in the corner. "Lieutenant Montgomery," he called, afraid she'd been hurt, "do you require medical attention?" He could hear choked sobs and desperate gasps for air and quickly closed the space between them. "Lieutenant Montgomery," he said more sternly, "compose yourself." He took her by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet.

Lexxi looked at Spock for a moment before nearly leaping from his grip. "Mr. Spock!" she exclaimed.

"Lieutenant Montgomery."

"Mr. Spock, the Admiral can't court martial Captain Kirk…he's mad! Let him have me and maybe he'll…"

"We will not bargain for the Captain's career with your life."

"My life is not in danger."

"It is if Admiral Connell's current behavior continues. Such abuse often leads to death."

"Death." Lexxi chuckled almost bitterly, smoothing her rumpled skirt. "You know what, Mr. Spock? A wise man I once knew said that death is a worm we are born with. It eats away inside from that first moment of life. I'm afraid all that's left of me is a shell, and even that worm has shriveled and died."

Silence descended the room before Spock changed the subject. "You seem unwell, shall I escort you to sickbay?"

"Unwell? No, I just need to gather my thoughts. What about the captain?"

"We have a very good case against Admiral Connell concerning you."

"Me?"

"However, you will need to testify."

"Will it help Captain Kirk?"

"Most definitely."

"All right then, just let me change my clothes. I feel like a slut in this dress."

As Mr. Spock followed Lieutenant Montgomery out of the room, his right eyebrow bounced off the ceiling.

"Captain James T. Kirk…Commander…U.S.S. Enterprise."

"Captain," Admiral Connell began, "are you aware of the charges against you?"

"No, Admiral," Kirk replied, "Would you please repeat them?"

"Failure to follow a direct order from a superior officer and interference in an important mission."

"I see."

"Captain Kirk, do you recall the mission that took you to Caspia IV?"

"I do."

"What was the nature of the mission?"

"You assigned it, Admiral." Kirk couldn't hide the contempt he felt for this man.

"For the record, Captain, what was the nature of the mission?"

"We were to rescue Lieutenant Montgomery from the midst of a civil war between the colonists after the U.S.S. Aldrin was destroyed."

"And what did you do?"

"Exactly that, Admiral."

"Exactly that, Captain, until I ordered Lieutenant Montgomery's return to Earth. What did you do then?"

"It was impossible to move her at the time."

"Impossible?"

"Her condition was unstable, the prospect grave. My C.M.O. thought we might lose her if…"

"She looks fine now!" Connell paused, taking a deep breath. "You may step down, Captain Kirk." As Kirk returned to his seat, Connell scanned the room as if picking his next victim. "Dr. McCoy, would you please take the stand/'

"Doctor Leonard H. McCoy…Lieutenant Commander…Chief Medical Officer…U.S.S. Enterprise."

"Doctor, could you tell us what happened to Lieutenant Montgomery that made it impossible for her to be taken to Earth?"

"Well, I wasn't planetside, so I didn't see anything firsthand, as I understand it, they found her badly beaten and then something exploded behind her. As I think I told you before, Admiral, or maybe I told Jim…uh, the Captain, and he told you, but she had several broken ribs and facial bones along with a concussion, internal injuries, internal bleeding, third degree burns. She'd lost a lot of blood, and I didn't have anything to replace it with."

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why couldn't you replace any blood, doctor? Is your sickbay inadequate?"

"Hell no!" McCoy exclaimed."

"Bones," Kirk mumbled.

"Answer the question, doctor," Connell warned.

"Lieutenant Montgomery is not human, Admiral, I thought you would know that."

"You may step down, doctor."

Suddenly, Spock spoke up. "If I may cross-examine your witness, Admiral." He stood and approached Connell.

Admiral Connell stared at Spock, thinking he'd never seen such audacity in a Vulcan, and if he had the chance, he would… "Of course, Mr. Spock."

Spock turned to McCoy, who grinned. "Dr. McCoy," Spock began, characteristically clasping his hands behind his back, "while I was still confined to sickbay, Lieutenant Montgomery awoke. Later, she was released. Why was she not then returned to Earth?"

The doctor's grin changed to a scowl. Unable to see how this was helping and not hurting, he answered, "Captain Kirk had already ordered us to Starbase 28 for shore leave."

"And Lieutenant Montgomery…"

Like a lightbulb lighting, McCoy suddenly realized where Spock was going. "I wanted to keep her under surveillance."

"For what reason?"

"Mental and emotional instability."

"Objection!" Admiral Connell roared. "What right does he have to make such assessments?"

Spock again came close to sighing. "As far as you are concerned, Admiral, every right. Doctor McCoy has had extensive experience in psychology and is considered an expert in the field by his peers."

McCoy tried to stifle the surge of pride that accompanied the Vulcan's words.

Spock continued, "Could you explain your suspicions, Doctor?"

"Of course, Mr. Spock." The doctor then glanced towards the subject of the conversation. She sat, dressed in a full, male, science blue uniform, complete with long-sleeved tunic, with her arms folded tightly across her chest and a face of disdain. 'Almost rebellious,' he thought, as he answered. "My first hint at instability was the unwillingness to fight for her life. Then her determined avoidance of conversation about her stay on Caspia IV…the incident with the shower…her refusal to let us monitor her…the lies about her physiology…the suicide attempt…you, know, self-destruction of any kind is officially enough reason to keep anyone under constant supervision." The doctor again stole a glace at Lexxi. She seemed to be fighting something—her eyes were closed and her face was twisted into a grimace. He began to worry.

"You may step down, doctor," Spock was saying.

"Oh, oh yeah." McCoy sat back in his seat.

Admiral Connell stood. "You might as well stay up there, Mr. Spock, you're next on my list."

Spock took the stand.

"Mr. Spock, why were you in sickbay?"

"I had been injured while on the planet and later collapsed."

"Collapsed? My dear Mr. Spock, I hope your okay."

"Quite." From his position, Kirk could tell Spock was becoming annoyed, but it was too subtle for anyone else to notice.

"Whatever from?" Connell's ton was sickening.

"Exhaustion from a mind meld." McCoy thought Spock was being very tolerant of questions too personal.

"A mind meld with whom?"

Why was he doing this? Lexxi asked herself. I'd go with him willingly! He doesn't have to do this…doesn't have to hurt them!

"Lieutenant Montgomery."

She knew she should tell them the truth. Let the story all out and let it be resolved. Deep inside, she knew she should. But that pesky voice that'd surfaced earlier…the one that's convinced her to make the shower too hot…to find the knife…was bothering her again…end the pain. No! Desperately, she clung to the conversation between the Admiral and Mr. Spock, tightened her grip o the reality around her, trying to keep from being a casualty in the war with herself.

"Why?"

Tell them…tell them…no, end it all!

"She had to be persuaded to live."

"I see."

"Shut up!" Lexxi could feel all eyes on her as she screamed, more to the voices in her head than anyone. Sorting through everyone's emotions flooding her heart, she swallowed and addressed the court.

"Permission to speak, Commodore?"

"Granted."

Again, Lexxi swallowed, shaking her head to clear it. "Please don't sit there discussing me like I'm some sort of specimen…none of you understand! And while I'm on the record already as a lunatic, you, Admiral, are out of your mind! You sent me on this crazy mission and they rescued me…they saved your butt! So I was gone a little longer than you liked, big deal! You don't have to…" Lexxi suddenly went sheet white and stopped talking, as if harshly ordered to, but no one had. "I'm done," she mumbled and attempted to relax. There was a great amount of confusion and surprise in the room, and direct anger from Connell. She buried her face in her arms, and felt the strong arm of the Captain around her shoulders. "It's over, Captain," she whispered to him, "…I'm gone."

"Mr. Spock," Connell spoke up, "you may step down." He smiled. "Unless, of course, you'd like to cross examine yourself."

"Negative, Admiral." Spock took his seat.

"Good."

McCoy stood and moved to Lexxi's side. "Admiral, if I may escort Lieutenant Montgomery to…"

"No."

"Sir, she's unwell. She needs to lie down."

"I'm sorry, Doctor, she's my last witness."

McCoy sat, grumbling.

"My dear," Connell turned and addressed Lexxi. "If you would, please, take the stand."

Lexxi cursed under her breath and brought her head up, standing.

"All right, kiddo," Connell began. Spock looked to McCoy with an eyebrow raised and the doctor scowled. "Let's start from the beginning, okay?"

"Yes, Admiral."

"Sweetheart, what exactly was your mission?"

Lexxi swallowed, sighed, and scowled. "Admiral, I am a Lieutenant. Please honor my rank."

"If you wish."

"I do."

"Answer my question."

"I was to intervene in the conflict between the colonists of Caspia IV and help them reach a peaceful agreement."

"Did you succeed?"

"No, Admiral."

"I see."

"You see."

Connell grew red in the face. "Don't mock me, girl!" He calmed. "Several days after your departure, I received a distress call from you."

"The Aldrin had been destroyed."

"Had it?"

"Yes!"

"Why did you call me?"

"You told me the mission was classified."

"Did I? Or was I the only one you know that would grant your request."

"Request?" Lexxi's eyes widened. He was playing with her! He was going to twist this! "What request?"

"Your request that I pull the Enterprise and assign them your rescue."

"What?!?" Damn. "I made no such request!"

Smirking, Connell produced a disk. "May I present exhibit A?" He slid the disk into the computer and a voice came over the speakers.

"Teddy? Teddy, help me! They just…they just destroyed the Aldrin! Teddy? You have to get me out of here. Get the Enterprise…Captain Kirk."

Lexxi couldn't meet Kirk's searching eyes with her own.

Connell gloated. "Sweetheart…"

"Lieutenant."

"Lieutenant. Do you deny that was your voice?"

Lexxi looked up at Admiral Connell, her expression hard. "Yes."

"It is you, Lieutenant, as recorded."

"No!"

"Yes!" Connell turned to address the Captain. "Captain Kirk, I submit to you that Lieutenant Montgomery is nothing but a lying, thieving wench guilty of seducing you and forcing you to anger me."

Commodore Wells stood, "Admiral Connell, this is getting out of hand. I suggest…"

"You suggest nothing!" Connell bellowed.

Wells quickly took his seat. Kirk glanced at him in disgust. He had had enough.

"Admiral, I thought I was the one on trial here."

"Oh you are, Captain. And I just proved your innocence. Congratulations, Kirk, you are a free man."

"Wait!" Kirk stood. "How can you be so sure about…Lieutenant Montgomery?"

"She has the ability to take your emotions and twist them. I know, she tried it on me once. I thought I loved her."


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

Chaos reigned. Lexxi could barely grasp what Connell was doing to her. He thought…love? Her? But she thought…

She suddenly realized there were tears streaming down her cheeks. Anger rose in her, flushing her face and tensing her muscles. She clenched her fists and couldn't draw a deep breath.

Lying! Thieving! Oh god, it was true!

Tell the truth…

No, just end it all!

Admiral Connell's voice echoed in Lexxi's ears. "I'll take her home, Captain, she will be punished."

Lexxi gazed at Kirk. He was staring back, not speaking. Her heart sank. His eyes were blank, his heart emanated betrayal and distrust. The love…the love was still there, but masked. She dare not search for it. She could not believe she'd dared before. She didn't deserve…

"Admiral," a deep, rocky baritone brought order, radiated calm, "I wish to question Lieutenant Montgomery."

"What for?"

Silence. Spock's cold glare could back anyone down. "I do not believe that what you are accusing is true." He turned to Lexxi. "Lieutenant, we were in telepathic contact in sickbay."

"Yes." Lexxi tried to control the quiver in her voice.

"You saw several things in my mind."

"Yes."

"And I in yours."

Lexxi nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"I submit to the court that from what I saw in the mind meld, Lieutenant Montgomery is not what Admiral Connell accuses her of."

Connell stood. "Now it's my word against yours, Mr. Spock."

Spock turned and said matter-of-factly, "Vulcans never lie."

"Preposterous!" Connell roared. "I've never believed that bullshit!"

Spock once more addressed Lexxi. "Lieutenant, what is the date of your birth?"

Tell the truth…

There was a pause, as it appeared that Lexxi fought to talk. "U…unknown, sir."

"Location?"

"Also unknown." The words came easier. The objections in her mind died down.

"What is your approximate age?"

"242."

Gasps swept through the room. Spock, however, didn't miss a beat. "Tell me about your childhood."

"My childhood?" Lexxi searched the Vulcan's deep eyes for understanding. He nodded and lifted the corners of his mouth almost imperceptibly. "Well," she began and looked down at her hands folded in her lap, "well the first thing I can remember is my mother teaching me how to read in our apartment in Queens. Only I found out much later that she couldn't have been my mother. Both of my parents were human and I …I wasn't. My dad played the guitar, the acoustic guitar, and he'd sing me to sleep at night. Until…"

"Objection!" Connell protested. "This is irrelevant."

"Quite the contrary, Admiral, this is very relevant." Spock turned back to Lexxi. "Please continue. Until what?"

"Until they were murdered."

"Lieutenant," Spock chose his words carefully, "do you remember your parents' murder?"

"Yes." The single whispered word was quiet and airy. There was a long pause and Spock prepared to ask Lexxi to elaborate, but reconsidered. Lexxi's eyes had glazed over and she was lost in memories.

With a sharp intake of breath, Lexxi pushed her thoughts away. She cursed herself for the lapse and focused intently on Mr. Spock, who'd begun to speak once more.

"Lieutenant Montgo—"

"Mr. Spock!" Lexxi stood. "I do not understand your preoccupation with my past. It's gone...I've let go. I assure you, nothing here is, in any way, connected to that. Let history rest in peace!" She paused only long enough to throw a heated glance around the room. "I'll give you what you need, Mr. Spock, to lock us both up and set your captain free. Admiral Connell transferred me to Earth because he was attracted to me. And he told me so. He said all those words a woman and trained to melt for. And, right on cue, I melted. He told me he'd get me a good position on Earth and we could be together. And I told her…told him about my differences. He didn't shy away or give me pity. He…I thought he understood. And now I kick myself for being so stupid. I arrived on Earth and turns out he had all these debts to these ambassadors and politicians. He sent me with them to help "persuade" their opponents. Yes, Admiral Connell knows all about my emotional manipulation. He exploited me. Always with the same line, "Just for me, cupcake, I love you. One more time for me, sweetheart, I need you." I swayed all those people with simple projection. I'm really good at that. But oh, not as good as the admiral, no, he led me to believe I loved him. All of that because he promised me…love. And now, my dear Teddy, it's an issue of your word against mine. Go ahead, Mr. Spock, lock me up." Lexxi, as abruptly as she'd stood, sat.

Spock only paused a moment before speaking. "Is that what you were to do in Caspia IV?"

Lexxi almost smiled. "No, ironically, it was not. I was supposed to die on Caspia IV."

"You were supposed to die?"

"Yes. You see, there was no civil war on Caspia IV. The colonists there were perfectly united. United in a mission give to them by Admiral Connell. A mission I didn't know about. I went to settle a civil war. Bu the Aldrin was attacked and I was captured. In fact, I never sent out a distress call. I didn't have the chance…and if they were willing to kill me, I was willing to die." Lexxi took a deep, shuddered breath. "And that's all I have."

"One more question."

Lexxi lifted her bowed head to look at Spock.

Spock lifted an eyebrow and cocked his head slightly. "Why should we lock you up?"


	38. Chapter Thirty Eight

Lexxi still sat as everyone else began to file out of the room. All charges had been dropped and it had been decided that the records of the hearing would be destroyed. That, in itself, was not entirely within regulations, but Kirk had argued and Wells had agreed that if they tried to right all of the wrongs they would only create a bigger mess. With Lexxi in the middle of it, Kirk thought, and she didn't need that. He kept his eyes on her as Wells shook his head.

"I sure hope she becomes famous someday," the Commodore said, his eyes following Kirk's gaze.

Kirk looked at Wells, startled. "Why?"

Wells didn't take his eyes off Lexxi. "So maybe I could read her biography. 242 years. Damn. Had to be interesting."

"Had to be," Kirk muttered and excused himself. Commodore Wells watched him approach Lexxi and the left the room, shaking his head.

Kirk gazed at Lexxi a moment before speaking. He looked to where she was looking and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Crying."

The answer startled Kirk and his eyes jumped to search Lexxi's face. "I don't see any tears."

Lexxi continued to stare straight ahead, fixated on an imaginary point on a blank wall. "I am crying on the inside." Her voice was flat, almost monotone.

Kirk had a vision of tears streaming from Lexxi's soul. Why?"

Finally, Lexxi looked at Kirk, her eyes flitting back and forth between his. She began to sing, the words barely above a whisper.

_Livin' is a gamble. baby, lovin's much the same_

_Wherever I have played_

_Wherever I throw those dice_

_Wherever I have played_

_The blue run the game._

Before Kirk could speak, Lexxi continued. "I want to thank you, Captain, and you can extend my gratitude to Mr. Spock. I feel like…I am finally…free." She began to study her hands in her lap.

Kirk squatted before her. "What do you want to do now/"

"I don't know. I guess I don't have a job anymore."

"Transfer to the Enterprise," he suggested earnestly.

"No…" she replied, almost absentmindedly.

"No?"

"No, I'm, uh, thinking about resigning my commission."

"Resigning?" Kirk pulled up a chair and sat across from Lexxi.

"Yes…it's getting…stuffy. Does that make sense?"

Kirk nodded.

"And I don't know how much time I have."

"Don't know how much time?"

"To live, Captain. I may not look it or feel it physically. But mentally I'm old. Old and worn out."

"But…"

"Captain, even you need to be free. And I need to know."

Kirk shifted in his chair. "What?" Lexxi had a habit of giving information a half a piece at a time.

"I need to know who I am," Lexxi answered. Kirk started to interrupt, but Lexxi cut him off. "Where I came from, and why I'm here and not there." She paused. "I need to belong, Captain. I need to go home."

Kirk was close to pleading. "Lexxi, this…this can be your home. You can belong here…with me. There are no more lies. There's nothing in our way, we…"

"But…" Lexxi's eyes began to fill with tears.

Kirk sighed. "I understand. How are you going to find out all these things? Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know." Lexxi also sighed and then scowled. 'To Earth first. Than I'll figure something out." She stood as Spock entered the room.

"Admiral Connell has transported back to the Corwin and they are preparing to leave orbit."

Kirk stood. "Good. How much longer are we here?"

"One week, four days, sir."

"Leave a skeleton crew on board and send the rest down for shore leave. Scratch the rotations."

"Aye, sir. And you?"

"I'll go down, you?"

Spock squared his shoulders. "I was planning on staying on board."

Kirk smiled. "No you weren't. You were planning on beaming down with me tomorrow morning."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Very well, Captain, my miscalculation." He turned and left. Lexxi followed. Kirk watched her leave with fear in his heart. Just how much was she free of?

Spock knew Lexxi was following him, but he did not acknowledge her presence. He could think of no reason for her actions and chose to ignore them. It could, after all, be purely coincidental that circumstances found her walking in the same direction as he. His thoughts on the subject were soon interrupted.

"Mr. Spock." It was barely a shout, but more than a statement. Lexxi's footsteps became more pronounced as she quickened her pace in order to catch him.

Spock stopped and turned to face Lexxi as she approached. He watched as she reached out a grasped his forearm and recoiled in shock at the sudden wave of appreciation, gratitude, and admiration that washed over him from her touch. Taking a step back, Spock tried to clear his mind and analyze Lexxi's intentions. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and he found them forming in his own eyes.

Letting go of her hold on Spock, she too stepped back. "Feelings for which words do no favor." Smiling slightly, she turned and quickly walked away.

Spock fell back against the wall of the corridor, leaning on it for support. He blinked back the moisture in his eyes, stood, and walked in the opposite direction.


	39. Chapter Thirty Nine

Kirk's door buzzed. He sat up in the dark and instinctively reached for the light. "Come," he said, throwing off his covers and pulling on his pants.

"Captain?" Lexxi's voice came from the doorway.

Kirk snatched his shirt from the back of a chair as he made his way to the outer chamber of his quarters. "Lieutenant?"

Lexxi blushed slightly as Kirk pulled the shirt on. "Lexxi."

"Jim." Kirk ran a hand through his hair.

"Captain." Lexxi watched Kirk glance at the mirror and smiled.

Kirk held his arms up in surrender and asked, "Are you all right?"

Lexxi looked at her toes. "I'm fine. It's just…I'm leaving in the morning."

"Where are we going?" Kirk teased.

"Not we, Captain, me. To Earth."

"Tomorrow?" There was a hint of panic in Kirk's voice.

"Yes."

Kirk held out his hands palms up. "I thought we were going to finish our shore leave."

Lexxi looked up into Kirk's eyes. "You are going with Mr. Spock."

Laughing, Kirk took Lexxi's hands in his. "That was just to get him down there for a change. Besides, it's a whole week and four days!"

"My ship leaves in the morning," Lexxi whispered, pulling her hands away. "I thought we covered this."

"We did. Why tomorrow/"

"That's when the ship leaves."

""Lexxi, the Enterprise can take you to Earth!"

Lexxi's frustration surpassed Kirk's. "Don't be so difficult, Captain, you've already risked enough for me!" She took a deep breath. "You have your mission."

"That's right. You're absolutely right. But…"

"Please," Lexxi pleaded, taking a step back, "don't do this to me. Please." She turned to walk away. "I'm leaving in the morning.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." McCoy smiled at Lexxi and stifled a yawn. "I was planning on coming in early anyway. I have a lot of paperwork to finish."

"I'm still sorry. You're not getting your paperwork done."

"Yeah, well, who wants to do paperwork anyway? What can I do for you, my dear?" The doctor motioned for Lexxi to step further into the room and then followed her to an examination table. She pulled herself up to sit on it.

"Check me over. Maybe give me a painkiller for the road."

"For the road?" McCoy sighed. "You're still in pain?"

"Yes, doctor." Lexxi studied her toes.

"A concerned frown settled on McCoy's face as he asked, "Where?"

"Wherever it shouldn't." Lexxi sighed.

The doctor lifted the back of the blue uniform tunic Lexxi was still wearing. His frown deepened. "What did I tell you about this?"

"I was making an impression."

"An impression," McCoy repeated. "I'll bandage it if you promise to take this off."

"I promise." Lexxi sighed again as the doctor set to work. She smiled as he slipped her shirt over her head. "This is rather uncomfortable."

McCoy grinned as he wrapped the bandages around Lexxi's torso. "For me or for you?"

"That depends."

"Come on now. Where else does it hurt, little girl?"

"My shoulder." Lexxi faked a whine.

"I thought so. That's a nasty place for a slice."

Lexxi watched McCoy gently trace the line with his fingers and said, "It's better than my throat."

"That's right. It's healing nicely, but bound to be sore for a while as deep as it is. I could give you good old-fashioned morphine. Wait, you prefer heroin."

"I'm allergic to heroin."

"But you…"

"Without immediate medical attention, it's deadly."

"Then I…"

"You've saved my life twice, Doctor."

"I thought it was the interaction."

"It wasn't. Alcohol has no effect on me."

"Wow. I know some people I'd recommend that for."

"Yourself?"

Once more, silence fell and tension filled the room. McCoy turned away and came back with two pills and a glass of water. "Aspirin," he stated, "morphine might knock you out."

Lexxi slid off the table and took them from him. "Aspirin?"

"You have to be prepared."

"I have to go." Lexxi threw her head back, swallowed the pills, and downed the water. She started walking towards the door.

McCoy followed. "I hope those work for you."

"Me too."

"Where are you going?"

"Away." And the sickbay doors swooshed behind her.


	40. Chapter Forty

When Lieutenant Montgomery strode into the transporter room, the transporter chief looked up at her, startled. He watched her glance restlessly around the room before her eyes settled on him. She wasn't hard to recognize; her and her pants were famous on the ship.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," he cheerfully piped.

"Good morning," she replied, distracted, her emerald eyes staring straight through him. He shifted uncomfortably. "Do you have the captain's authorization?"

"Aye and the coordinates."

Lexxi stepped up onto the platform and the transporter chief grinned. "Little early for traveling, don't you think?"

Lexxi's smile was sad. "It's never too early to start over," she replied softly. "Energize."

As she vanished amidst a wave of gold glitter, Captain Kirk strode purposefully into the transporter room. He looked around before gazing thoughtfully at the shocked transporter chief. His face fell. "Is she…?"

The chief swallowed and nodded.

Kirk turned and walked out.

Damnit, Bones, she's gone!" Kirk slammed his glass down hard on the doctor's desk before burying his face in his hands, the song he'd memorized just for her marching mercilessly through his head. "I can't believe it. It was just 'I'm fine now, goodbye!' How stupid!"

McCoy just watched and didn't say a word. What could he say? I'm so sorry, Jim, get over it. Away, she had said. Away from what?

Spock entered the doctor's office and McCoy looked up at him, his eyes almost pleading. Spock stared straight ahead as he reported. "The Donovan is currently leaving orbit. Captain Leiker reports that Lieutenant Montgomery is in the tow." He looked down at Kirk and then back at his random point on the wall in front of him. "She loved you, Jim."

Both Kirk and McCoy looked up in surprise. "She…she told you?' Kirk asked.

"With a lot less words, yes, you could say that."

Uhura interrupted the conversation. "Bridge to sickbay."

McCoy replied, "Sickbay, this is McCoy."

"Doctor, is Captain Kirk down there?"

"Kirk here." The captain stood. "What is it, Uhura?"

Transmission coming in from the Starbase, sir."

"Put it on." All three men turned to face the small screen on the doctor's desk and watched as Commodore Wells appeared.

"Jim!" Wells exclaimed cheerfully.

"Commodore," Kirk acknowledged less enthusiastically.

"That girl of yours…did you know she just left on the Donovan?"

"Yes."

"Well, she left you a message…recorded…audio only. D'you want it?"

Kirk looked from Spock to McCoy to the screen before nodding. Uhura replaced wells.

"It's coming through now, sir," she informed him.

Kirk swallowed hard, his throat dry. "Patch it through down here." The screen went black and Lexxi's voice came from the speakers.

"Captain? I'm sorry I left…like that. I couldn't say goodbye. I don't deserve…what you have." In his mind, Kirk could see Lexxi sitting in front of a recorder, head bowed, playing with her fingers. He could hear her eyes fill with tears and feel her force them back. "I don't deserve your love." Kirk pressed his forehead against the wall, expecting Uhura's confirmation that the transmission had ended. Instead, his heart wrenched as he heard that same, slow alto that had once almost taunted him with the truth of his lostness begin to sing:

_Oh, seasons change with the scenery_

_Weaving time in a tapestry_

_Won't you stop and remember me_

_At any convenient time_

Her voice trailed off as if there were more, but it never came. The hollow emptiness that followed made the silence roar in Kirk's ears. I'm fine now, goodbye. How could he have been so blind? The despair in her voice…I don't deserve? Kirk stood, and without a word, he left.

He didn't know where he was going. It hardly mattered. He needed to walk. Needed to do. To think. To clear his mind. Of her voice. Of that song! He'd memorized it to say goodbye. But she couldn't say goodbye and now he didn't get the chance

_She would never say where she came from_

"High school. How long ago was that?"

"Too long."

"Where'd you go to school?"

"All over the place."

"Do not jump to conclusions, Captain."

_Yesterday don't matter if it's gone _

"I do not understand your preoccupation with my past. It's gone, I've let it go…let history rest in peace!"

_While the sun is bright _

_Or in the darkest night _

_No one knows, she comes and goes _

_Goodbye Ruby Tuesday _

_Who could hang a name on you? _

_When you change with every new day _

_Still I'm gonna miss you_

_Don't question why she needs to be so free_

"I joined Starfleet to see the stars…to be free."

_She'll tell you it's the only way to be _

_She just can't be chained _

"Besides, I can't tie you down. We can't chain each other up."

_To a life where nothing's gained _

_And nothing's lost, at such a cost _

"You and I, Captain, we need to be free."

_Goodbye Ruby Tuesday _

_Who could hang a name on you? _

_When you change with every new day _

_Still I'm gonna miss you_

_"There's no time to lose", I heard her say _

_Catch your dreams before they slip away_

"This is your dream, Captain, live it…take it for all it's worth and never let go."

_Dying all the time_

_Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind _

"When you lose your dreams, you lose everything."

_Ain't life unkind? _

_Goodbye Ruby Tuesday _

_Who could hang a name on you? _

_When you change with every new day _

_Still I'm gonna miss you _

"Still I'm gonna miss you…" Kirk sang as the door to his quarters whooshed closed behind him. "Still I'm gonna miss you…"


	41. Housekeeping

Just thought I'd let you all know where the lyrics throughout the story came from:

"I Am A Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel

"Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel

"Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall" by Simon and Garfunkel

Noticing a trend?

"The Wanderer" by Dion

"Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel

"The Blues Run the Game" the version I know is done by Simon and Garfunkel

"Hazy Shade of Winter" by Simon and Garfunkel

I'm sorry, but I like those people.

"Ruby Tuesday" by the Rolling Stones


End file.
